Colorblind
by city never sleeps
Summary: He was the only person she ever hated, and now they're roommates. It's hard to forgive someone for destroying your childhood, but it's even harder to forget. Will she ever pull through the pain and sadness to find the happy ending she finally deserved?
1. Mean

**Note (PLEASE READ): **So I've decided to start up a new multi-chapter _Clique_ story. This one is going to be in a totally alternate universe and totally out-of-character, just a heads up. It's my first attempt at writing something with a little angst. I hope you enjoy! Disclaimed.

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**Colorblind**

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_A young, brunette girl, no older than the age of six, sat down at a picnic table under an oak tree. She slowly opened her Hello Kitty lunchbox and pulled out a tuna salad sandwich – no crust – a juice box, and a giant cookie. She watched as other girls sat down with their friends and shared grapes and carrots. But no one came to share food with her. No one else came to sit with her. No one else invited her to play tag or sleep over with them. And even though she wore her hair different everyday, and even though she wore really cute clothes, no one wanted to be her friend. _

_ She looked around sorrowfully at the children running around, laughing and having a great time. A strange feeling suddenly stirred inside of her; she had never felt it before. Something about seeing these other _normal_ kids playing made her angry. It made her want to stuff their socks into their mouths and stomp on their art projects. It made her want to go and push all of them into a mud puddle and fill their lunch boxes with worms. It made her want to scream as loud as she could on the highest mountain so God could hear her. This poor little girl always felt that God skipped her, that He had looked right past her. She would say her prayers every night and wish with all the might of her little heart that someone out there would be her friend. But every morning, she would wake up and go through the same boring routine. Go to school alone, eat lunch alone, and come home alone. _

_ Her tiny fists balled up at her sides as she shoved aside her uneaten lunch. The young girl was no longer hungry. She rarely ate lunch anymore because her classmates made fun of the way she ate. _

_ Suddenly, a brown haired boy ran next to her table to retrieve a stray soccer ball. There was a smear of dirt across his forehead and grass stains all over his blue shirt, but the girl smiled at him anyway. This was her chance._

_ "Yuck!" The little boy screamed. He pointed at her mouth. "Your face is ugly!" _

_ The smile instantly faded off her young face. _

_ The boy's group of friends came running after; to see what the commotion was about. When they saw what the boy was pointing at, they also proceeded to make faces and laugh. _

_ "There's a hole in your face!" _

_ "Hole-y face, hole-y face!" _

_ "Watch her eat her sandwich! It's so weeeeird!" _

_ The taunting grew worse and worse until the little girl couldn't help it anymore. "Shtop making fun of me! Leave me awone! Go away! Pwease!" _

_ But the little boys only laughed harder. _

_ "Listen to her talk!"_

_ "Is she retarded or something?"_

_ "She's a poopy brain. Poopy brained, hole-y faced, ugly girl!" _

_ Hot tears immediately formed in the poor girl's eyes. She knew this would happen and she was stupid enough to even acknowledge the boy. What was she thinking? Of course no one wanted to be her friend. She was ugly. _

_ And all of this taunting, this teasing, this bullying, was because she was born with a left unilateral cleft lip, something she had no control over. _

::

_A small, amber haired girl walked down the hall slowly. Her cleft lip had been repaired by the best plastic surgeon in town. The only reminder left was a tiny scar, a shade lighter than her natural skin color, on the left side of her lip. But replacing the cleft lip was a set of bulky metal braces that poked at her cheeks and impaired her speech. Her birth defect had caused her teeth to grow abnormally and the only solution was the unwieldy metal contraption. The braces seemed too much to be inside the mouth of a fourteen year old. _

_ As usual, she sat alone at her lunch table by the trashcan and the door, for an easy exit in case the teasing got out of control. She opened her lunch bag to reveal some pasta salad and a bottle of Perrier her mother so kindly told Inez to pack. She chewed her food slowly, but it stuck inside her braces anyway. _

_ Discreetly, the girl tried to pick the pasta out of her teeth, but of course, the brown haired boy noticed. He began whispering to his friends behind his hand and they all laughed at her. _

_ The teenage girl blushed furiously. She didn't understand why this brown haired boy made fun of her so much. She never did anything to provoke him, yet he decided to pick on her anyway. All she wanted to be was left alone, to get through middle school without a scratch. But that will never happen as long as she has these train tracks running through her mouth. _

_ At last, lunch was over. But the worst part was just beginning._

_ Everyone was throwing their trash away now, and she just so happened to be sitting by the trashcan. _

_ "Gosh," the brown haired boy said as he neared her table. "Some people are just so indecent, picking their teeth in public. How disgusting." _

_ The girl heard him of course, and it took all of her self control not to cry, but she felt the dreaded tears forming in the back of her eyes. _

_ He dumped his trash loudly into the bin, and a little bit of lettuce just so happened to fly out and hit the girl in the face._

_ This boy has been ruining her life since elementary school. She hated him with all of her guts and no matter how hard she tried to avoid his hurtful words, he always found a way to make her feel worse about herself. _

_ He and his soccer pals would sometimes run by her on their way home and kick mud at her shoes and clothes._

_ Some days, she would go home and cry herself to sleep. Her parents didn't know about those episodes and she planned to keep it that way. Her mother always told her that once the braces came off and she grew into her body, she would be the most beautiful girl at school. Her father always told her that he would buy her all of the hottest trends so she could be the most fashionable girl and everyone would look up to her. And they always said that even if she never changed, she would always be their beautiful little girl that they loved so much. But that wasn't enough for her. She didn't want to be loved by only her parents. She wanted real friends and real people to like her. _

_ The poor girl had been waiting for the day she would finally turn pretty for years. And it couldn't arrive any faster. _

_ She had been through a living hell every since she met the brown haired boy who liked to play soccer. _

::

The once vulnerable, brown haired girl has finally changed into a butterfly. The day she longed for had arrived at last.

She was now a sophomore in high school. Her teeth were pearly white and perfectly straight. The braces were gone last summer. Aside from the small scar above her left upper lip, her fair skin was clear and radiant. Her hair fell in sleek, amber waves down to the small of her back. Her body that used to be so short and plump had grown into a tall, lean, and strong body that looked good in any outfit. Behind her walked the only four people she ever trusted: her four best friends Claire, Alicia, Dylan, and Kristen.

It was one hot afternoon and the eighth graders were eating outside. Massie had to sit in the hot sun because all the good seats in the shade were taken. She was just about to pass out from a heat stroke when a bubbly blonde girl and her three friends walked over with an umbrella, joining the brunette for lunch. They're been best friends ever since. They were inseparable. They became the popular girls in the school, but not because they were mean. It was because they were kind to others, set a good example to others, and reached out to people that felt put down. Massie especially felt for those unfortunate students. She knew what they felt like because she herself had went through ten years of torture before she finally became who she was today.

Now, Massie felt like she belonged on the Earth at last. Like her presence wasn't just a waste of air and space. She had friends who loved her for who she is, ugly or pretty. She finally got what she wanted, and it was about damn time.

The brown haired boy had finally stayed away from her after she got her braces off last summer. On the first day of sophomore year, Massie walked into the halls a new person, with her best friends following right behind her. People looked at her differently now. Gone was the disgust and mean thoughts; they were instantly replaced by jealousy and want. Her classmates wanted to be friends with her now. Massie never thought the day would ever arrive. God had finally heard her. She was finally a _someone_.

Sophomore year breezed past in a flurry of crushes, school, and good times with her friends. But Massie wasn't sad that the school year was ending. She was excited. Junior year was going to begin in three months and she planned to start stronger than the previous year. She planned to not only become successful in school, but with sports and with her friends. She would be the triple threat that every girl hated, but secretly wanted to be. She would finally catch the eye of her crush, Cam Fisher. They would be prom king and prom queen together. They would get married, move to Manhattan and have two beautiful children.

Massie had her whole life planned out ever since fourth grade. She wanted to show those bullies the person she would grow up to be. She would become a better person than they were. The young girl planned to graduate with top honors, earn a full scholarship to NYU and become a psychologist. It was the perfect life she knew she would grow up to have. Her daddy even said so.

And now, seven years later, Massie was still pursuing the same dream. She had already completed two victorious years of high school. How much harder could the final two be?

Plus, this summer, she and her four best friends were all going to Alicia Rivera's summer house in California. They would spend June and July there, and then take a road trip back to New York. It would be the perfect break from a perfect school year.

Could her life get any better?

Too bad Massie couldn't see what this summer had in store for her.

::

Massie wiped the thin layer of perspiration that covered her forehead. She had just managed to drag her two suitcases up the steep driveway of Alicia's beach house, all the while carrying her heavy hobo bag in the crook of her arm. _Damn Alicia's house for being on a hill_.

The amber haired girl approached the modern white doors and rang the doorbell. She heard the melodic tune echoing throughout the vast interior of the house, followed by the clicking on heels on the hardwood floor.

The door swung over to reveal a leggy, tanned Spanish beauty. Her hair was slicked back into a high ponytail and a pair of giant sunglasses was perched on the thin bridge of her nose.

"Ehmagawd! Massie you're finally here! The girls and I have been waiting for you. Come in, come in. James, come get Massie's bags!" Alicia squealed excitedly as she gripped Massie by the forearm and dragged her into the posh living room. James the butler walked outside slowly and took Massie's bags effortlessly. Massie flashed him a smile before turning back to follow Alicia.

Quickly, Massie was enveloped in a hug with skinny arms, strong perfume, and sunscreen. She didn't realize how much she missed her friends until she finally felt them around her. It had only been a week since school ended, but it was also a week away from her lifeline, her best friends.

Alicia smiled and walked into the kitchen, leaving Massie to catch up with the other girls.

"Wow. Sorry I'm late guys. My plane was delayed from the thunderstorm back east." Massie ran a hand through her thick hair before taking a seat next to Claire.

Dylan smiled at Massie. "Let's hope the bad weather stays over there. We can't afford to be rained out on our beach vacation."

"We're so glad you were able to make it. You could use a good vacation… and a good tan," Claire joked as she pinched Massie's pale arm skin.

Massie swatted her away playfully. "Hey! You're not much tanner than I am."

"No worries, ladies. We'll all be as tan as Alicia once we're done here." Kristen giggled.

"Did someone say my name?" Alicia walked back with a raised eyebrow, a tray of Mimosas balanced precariously in her right hand. "Here girls, we can all drink now. No worries, this isn't the kind of Mimosas little bitches drink. Mama here spiked it with a little extra somethin' somethin'."

"Yay!" Dylan cheered loudly before lunging for the glass of orange liquid. Kristen and Claire shook their heads before each grabbing a glass of their own.

Alicia looked suspiciously at Massie. "Don't tell me you're not going to drink."

"Alicia…" Massie sighed.

"I know, I know. You don't drink. But come on, Mass, it's summer vacation. Let loose a little."

Massie looked at the other girls, who all gave her supportive smiles. "Fine," Massie caved. She daintily grabbed the remaining wet glass and brought it to her lips, allowing the alcohol to slide slowly into her mouth. She swallowed cautiously, tasting the bitter drink against her tongue. It was surprisingly smooth for something so potent, and Massie instantly grew a liking to it. "It's not bad."

Alicia raised her arms victoriously. "Told you!"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Claire ran to answer it. The blonde girl shrieked excitedly the moment she saw who the arriving guests were. She ushered them inside to show the other girls who just arrived.

Massie's mouth instantly grew dry. Standing in front of her were the Briarwood boys, the boys who used to make fun of her not long ago. There was Cam Fisher, Chris Plovert, Josh Hotz, Kemp Hurley, and the dreaded Derrick Harrington, the brown haired boy.

"The guys are back from their game!" Claire announced.

Silently, Massie choked back a scream. While all the other girls were flipping their hair and batting their eyelashes, Massie sat there, frozen to the white leather couch. She couldn't move her body. Her arms and legs were numb. She swallowed and if felt like swallowing sandpaper.

"Alicia, can I talk to you in the kitchen?"

"But Massie, the boys just got here…"

Massie stood up and roughly grabbed Alicia's arm. "Let's go."

Alicia made a face. "Ouch. You're hurting me."

Once they were in the kitchen, Massie released Alicia's arm. Alicia rubbed the spot where Massie's hand had been just moments ago, a sour pout on her lips. "What the hell?" She whined.

"Did you invite those boys?" Massie whispered angrily. She glanced over into the living room again, and saw that the guys had already made themselves comfortable.

Alicia shrugged. "Yeah. They got here before you, but they went to play soccer so you missed them when you got here."

"Why would you invite them?" Massie was growing nervous. She couldn't stand being in the same house as the people who ruined her childhood.

Alicia tapped her feet on the ground impatiently. "Calm down, Massie. They're just boys. All we're gonna do is hang out. That's it. Nothing more."

Massie's eyes grew cold. "You know I don't like them, Leesh! Did you invite them here to purposely ruin my summer?"

"Massie, this summer isn't all about you," Alicia rolled her eyes. "Besides, you're hot now. They can't do anything. We've got your back."

Massie released the breath she had been holding ever since she laid eyes on the boys. "Thanks, Alicia. But Derrick's here. You have no idea how much I hate Derrick."

"We know. And honestly, the rest of us girls don't like him that much either after what he has done to you. But we had to invite him if we were going to invite all of his friends."

Massie closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "I guess you had no choice."

Alicia placed both hands on Massie's shoulders and shook her hard, forcing the brunette to open her eyes in shock. "You're going to have fun. I promise, okay? You're going to have the best summer of your boring ass life."

All Massie could do was stare at Alicia as her brain tried to wrap itself around what the Spanish girl was saying.

"You know," Alicia nudged Massie with her elbow. "Maybe you can finally get your chance with Cam this summer."

Massie blinked as she registered what Alicia was saying. Then, she smiled sadly. "I sure hope so."

"Then what are you waiting for? Operation 'get Cam to like Massie' starts now." Alicia gave Massie a gentle push back into the living room.

::

"Who knew the beach could be so fun?" Dylan sighed as the girls stumbled back onto the Rivera property.

"Man, I don't know about you, but learning to surf is the hardest thing I've ever done. I think it has drained every ounce of energy I have. I'm going to bed. Night," Claire said as she walked away.

Kristen rubbed her temples. "Too much to drink. I feel the pounding of an on-coming hangover. I'm going to sleep too. Goodnight, girls." She staggered after Claire into the guest house they were sharing.

"I'm gonna chill and watch some TV," Alicia announced as she opened the patio door of her house. "Try not to mess up our room too much while I'm not there." She said to Dylan, who nodded and tripped up the stairs.

"Uh, Alicia," Massie poked her friend in the back.

"Hm?" Alicia answered, her eyes glued to the show that was playing on her giant TV.

Massie shifted uncomfortably. "Who am I rooming with?"

"Um, I think you have the other guest house to yourself. It's the one to the left. I picked the best one for my best friend." Alicia's voice grew silent as she became engrossed with a movie playing on the television.

Massie smiled even though Alicia couldn't see. "Thanks, Leesh. You're the best. I'll see you in the morning."

She headed back outside and heard a faint "night" coming from Alicia in the living room.

Slowly, Massie walked along the path towards the beach house to the left. She was kind of glad that she was getting a room to herself. It was going to give her some time to think, alone. That was exactly what she needed at the moment. Some time to think and gather her thoughts all by herself, with no one to disturb her.

Smoothly, the unlocked front door opened and Massie stepped inside the big guest house. It wasn't as fancy as the main house, but it was a very nice living place none-the-less. Massie headed up the spiraling staircase with her hand trailing on the wooden railing. She would explore more of this house in the morning.

Suddenly, she heard music coming from a room upstairs. Massie froze. There was someone else in this house? She thought she was going to be alone.

Stepping on the balls of her feet, Massie walked up the rest of the stairs and approached the closed door with a sliver of yellow light escaping through the crack on the bottom. With a shaking hand, Massie grasped the metal handle and opened the door quickly.

There, sitting on the bed with no shirt on, was none other than Derrick Harrington. His eyes were closed as he bounced to the loud rap music.

Massie screamed.

Derrick's eyes flew open.

"What the fuck?" Massie yelled as she stared at the extremely attractive boy sitting in front of her. Hot red hatred flashed before her eyes as she stood there, unable to move. The room was spinning in tight circles and Massie was trapped in its never ending rotation. She suddenly felt as if she was a part of a horror movie that had no happy ending. Alicia was going to hear some very angry words from her tomorrow morning.

His brown eyes widened as he realized who was standing in his doorway. "What the fuck is right."

::

**Note: **So? What do you guys think? It's a little different from what I'm used to writing, but I kind of like where I'm going with this. I hope you guys do too. Read and review please!


	2. Ugly

**Note: **Song recommendation: Placebo – _Running Up That Hill_. If you have any song recommendations, please include them in your reviews.

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**Colorblind**

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Massie was at lost for words. Staring at the shirtless boy in front of her, she was unable to find the venomous words that usually hung at the tip of her tongue, ready to attack at a moments notice. All she could do was stare at him. Her body turned from cold to hot, and then hot to cold. The hatred burning inside her melted into liquid tears that hung precariously at the edge of her narrowed eyes.

He was the first one to speak, his words like knives cutting into her skin. "What are you staring at?"

She blinked a couple of times and swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm staring at you, that's who I'm staring at. What the hell are you doing in my house?"

"_Your _house? Alicia told me this was _my_ house."

Suddenly, the flames within Massie flared up uncontrollably. Forget weak and vulnerable Massie. "Alicia told me this was _my_ house. She's _my_ best friend and therefore you don't belong here."

Derrick smiled, shaking his head at Massie. "What does your friendship with her have anything to do with who'll be living in this house? I got here first, so this is mine."

"Oh? So we're playing that game? Well I was friends with Alicia first, so therefore, you shouldn't even fucking be here in the first place. The only reason you were invited was because we invited all your friends and we were kind enough not to leave you out."

"Wow," Derrick said, wiping his fake tears sarcastically. "That really hurt... if you were trying to cut me with a plastic knife. God Massie, you're just as weak as you were back in elementary school."

Massie let out a feral scream before stomping into his room and jabbing him in the chest with her finger. "Don't You dare bring that back up! You have no right to talk about that anymore."

Derrick smirked. "Really? I don't have a _right_? You've got some nerve, coming here telling me what I can do and what I can't do. Kudos to you, Block."

Massie raised her hand to slap him, but she stopped half way, her small hand hanging in the air threateningly. She watched Derrick's eyes widen, but the fear was instantly replaced by arrogance.

"Calm down, okay?" Derrick leaned back to pull himself away from Massie's slap. "It's just… you suck at defending yourself. Back then, when you were unattractive, you didn't even try to stand up to me. You just sat there and took it all in, word for word."

The tears were sliding down her cheeks now, and Massie quickly turned away so he couldn't see her cry. He knew that talking about the past was a sensitive subject, so he brought it up when she was most vulnerable. And once again, Massie has let Derrick hurt her.

"Fuck you," she cried. All she could do was run out of his room, slam the door, and run into her room, and slam the door.

Her bags were all waiting for her on the pristine bed, a sign that Massie was actually staying in this guesthouse…with _him_. This wasn't just a nightmare that she could wake up from. It was all happening. This was all happening over again. And even though Massie didn't have anything physically for him to make fun of, there were still emotional scars that he was just waiting to rip open, one by one.

::

Massie could barely keep her eyes open when she finally unpacked and finished getting ready for bed. She crawled under the soft blankets and closed her eyes, emptying her mind of all the troubles and bothers of the day.

Suddenly, loud rap music blared from the room next door and Massie could almost hear every world loud and clear. Her mind instantly grew jumbled as the long needed sleep escaped her. With her fist, she pounded on the wall in between their rooms three times. Abruptly, the music stopped, only start up louder.

"TURN OFF THE MUSIC!" She screamed.

In response, the music turned up even louder.

With a loud groan, Massie smashed a pillow over her face and forced her eyes close. She could not stand it anymore. She was going to kill herself before this vacation even came to an end.

::

"Hurry up and finish your damn shower!" Derrick's angry voice boomed from the other side of the door.

Massie grimaced as she lathered her hair in her new coconut shampoo. "Sorry, I didn't want to look _too_ ugly before you saw me again."

The response came quickly. "Well in that case, take all the time you need. You'll need plenty."

She heard his loud footsteps walk away from the door and down the stairs. Once she knew he couldn't hear her, she began to cry. All the unwanted tears from last night came falling down her cheeks, mixing in with the hot water of the shower.

_What did she ever do to deserve this? Has God decided to ignore her once again? This wasn't fair. All she wanted was to have fun, and look where it has taken her. She was just digging her own grave, trying to protect herself. The more she fought back, the harder he'll retaliate. _

All these painful thoughts went whirring through Massie's tired head as she mechanically conditioned her hair and finished cleaning the rest of her body.

By the time she stepped out of the shower, Massie's own inner rambles have worn her down to the core. She felt tired, she looked tired; she _was_ tired. She was tired of the games that life was playing on her. She was tired of always getting the bad end; the things that nobody else wanted and left for her to take care of. In all of her life, she just wanted to feel free and happy, but that's never going to happen now.

Slowly, she stepped out of the steaming bathroom and back into her room where she dressed in a light floral tank top and shorts. She dreaded going down the stairs, but it was unavoidable. Massie was going to have to face him again, sooner or later.

With each heavy step down the staircase, Massie felt her heartbeat growing faster and faster. Her palms were damp with anticipation. Her breathing was quick and shallow. In all her life, Massie had never felt this nervous about facing a person. It was ridiculous – the way her body was behaving was absolutely outrageous.

Once she reached the first floor, she could hear him rattling around in the kitchen. The sound of spoons and bowls clinking together, the sound of a cereal box being shaken, the sound of milk being poured into a bowl, it was all so human for someone who could be so evil.

Calmly she stepped into the kitchen to see him in the process of shoving Frosted Flakes into his mouth. He looked up at the sound of her footsteps and sneered.

"Shouldn't we eat breakfast with the rest of our friends?"

Derrick choked on his cereal. "_Our_ friends?"

Massie furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion and annoyance. "Uh yeah. You know the people that we came here with? They're _our friends_."

"My friends," Derrick swallowed his food. "Are not your friends. Your friends are not my friends. Therefore, my friends plus your friends are not _our_ friends."

"Whatever," Massie mumbled. She turned the doorknob to the front door and pulled it open harshly. "Don't join us. Be a loner."

There was a loud smash as the bowl fell into the sink. Massie felt Derrick's piercing glare from across the room at the back of her head. With her fists clenched at her sides, Massie refused to turn around and meet his eyes. She forced her legs to take one step out the door.

"Stop right there," he commanded calmly.

Massie stopped, but kept her back turned to him. "What do you want?" The irritation was obvious in her tone of voice.

She heard him step closer and instinctively took a step away. "Don't come near me," she warned in a shaky voice.

"As if I would ever want to touch you," he replied with a hint of amusement. "Are you going to face me or keep avoiding me like a coward?"

Unable to resist a challenge, Massie whipped around, her eyes blazing as they met his cold ones. "I said, what do you want -"

"I want you to listen to me," he cut in, his voice sharp and defined. "I am not a loner -

"Well you're going to be once I leave," Massie argued.

"Shut up and listen," he growled, stepping nearer until he was an inch away from her.

Massie's eyes widened as she noticed that he towered a good two inches over her. She could smell him - sweet mint and bitterness – at their close proximity. He was clad in a loose white t-shirt and basketball shorts, but she chose to ignore it. Even though she was shaking in her bones, she kept eye contact, only allowing her eyes to wander to bottom eyelashes occasionally.

"Make it quick." Her voice was soft, a sign that she was scared of him.

In response, he smiled coolly. "You'll always be that piece of trash no one wants to talk to. Don't think that now that your ugliness is gone, it's not inside you, because it still is. Once someone is ugly, nothing will ever change them from ugly. They'll always be _ugly_."

"I'll never be as ugly as you are," she spat in his face. He stumbled backwards and she took that as her signal to run. She quickly scurried to the open door, ran out and slammed it shut behind her.

The moment she reached Alicia's back porch was the moment she finally stopped. Her breathing was heavy and her hands were shaking.

Recovering quickly, Massie banged on the glass door until she saw Alicia's tired face in the window.

"Open this damn door this instant!" She screamed.

Lazily, Alicia slid it open and let Massie in. "What's gotten into you?" She asked with a yawn.

Massie sat herself down on the couch and gripped the sides of her shorts angrily. "You know what's gotten into me! You did this to me on purpose, didn't you?"

"Woah," Alicia said, holding her hands up in front of her. "Do you want something to drink? Water? Coffee? We might have orange –

"I don't care about the fucking juice!" Massie screamed.

Alicia sat down tentatively next to Massie's fuming body. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

Massie laughed coldly. "I sure as hell do. You told me I had a house to myself."

"You do…"

"I don't! Guess who my roommate is? Just take a _wild_ guess." Massie eyed Alicia angrily as her facial expression turned from worried to utter confusion.

"Massie, I really don't know what you're talking about…"

"Derrick fucking Harrington is sleeping in the room next to mine! We share the same bathroom, the same living room, the same kitchen! He was the first thing I saw when I woke up and it immediately ruined my mood! Why did you do this to me?"

Alicia's mouth opened in a pop. "Oh my god."

Massie growled. "That's it?"

"I'm so sorry, Mass. I must've given him the spare room when he left the beach early and then I forgot and gave it to you and now you guys are roommates and it's my entire fault! I'm so sorry Massie! Oh my god, you must hate me now." Tears were sliding down Alicia's cheeks and Massie instantly felt sorry for yelling at her friend.

Massie sighed and patted Alicia's back affectionately. "It's fine. It was an accident. I'll adjust… or not. Whatever, Alicia, it's okay. I'll learn to live with it for the next two months."

"I… feel… so… bad!" Alicia choked between sobs. "You… have… to… room… with… _him_… and… it's… all… because… of… me!"

Just as Alicia finished her sentence, Derrick Harrington walked in, a scowl on his face. "You're talking about me?"

Both the girls froze.

::

**Note: **Thank you everyone who reviewed, alerted, and favorited! It means a lot to me that you like this story. In return, I hope chapter two was good enough. Give me your feedback so I can improve! Don't forget about the song recommendations (: Thanks.


	3. Tired

**Note: **Thank you everyone who enjoys this story. Your reviews have me updating like a mad woman. Song recommendation: Band of Horses – _The Funeral_. If you have any good song recommendations, please leave them in your reviews. **In my **_**Clique**_ **world, Derrick has brown hair and brown eyes. Sorry for the confusion. **

::

**Colorblind**

::

Massie eyed him warily, her hand remaining on Alicia's trembling form. She took him in, memorizing each detail so she could hate every single one of them later. The color of his hair and the way it reflected sunlight unnaturally, he coldness of his eyes as he stared at her, the way his gray t-shirt and jeans hung from his lithe frame loosely. All those things made Massie hate him even more. The way his lips were pulled into that annoying smirk and the way his floppy hair fell in his eyes were maddening beyond belief. Something that would appear attractive on someone else only made Derrick Harrington look repulsive in Massie's eyes.

"So you finally decided to show your face?" Massie asked him squarely, each on of her words enunciated with crisp loathing.

Derrick sneered and slammed the patio door shut, causing Alicia to flinch. "I never said I wasn't coming. I wouldn't want to miss out on all the fun, now would I? And from the looks of this," he gestured to the two girls sitting on the couch with his hand. "It doesn't look like I've missed anything."

"We were having fun until you arrived," Massie said as she stood up. _Maintain eye contact. Maintain eye contact._

"Oh yeah, comforting a crying girl is so much fun. I don't understand why all this crap makes you happy. You're like a fucking alien and you look–

Massie opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He had once again brought up the past, and it has once again rendered her speechless, in the bad way. Massie narrowed her eyes. "Just go away."

"What? Run out of things to say to me? Did you use up all those little insults you've prepared already? Pathetic." Derrick laughed.

"As a matter of fact, no I haven't. It's only been one day and I'm just getting started. You don't have _one_ clue about what I've got up my sleeve."

"I'm so scared," he challenged.

Massie crossed her arms, leaving Alicia to stare at them in fright. "By the time I'm done with you, you'll be running home to your mommy with your tail between your legs."

"I'll do that once Hell freezes over."

"That day will be coming sooner than you expect." Massie replied coldly, a smirk on her face. "Just admit it, Derrick. Now that I'm not ugly, you can't hurt me anymore. Your words don't mean anything anymore because I know they're not true. Just leave me alone."

"Remember what I said about being ugly on the inside-

"You're the one that's ugly on the inside," Massie interrupted.

Derrick narrowed his eyes. "You little bitch-

Massie opened her mouth to scream something back but Alicia suddenly stood up. "ENOUGH!" She shouted.

Both Massie and Derrick stopped mid-sentence to look at the petite Spanish girl. "Derrick, the boys are outside. They're waiting for you to join them," Alicia spoke calmly.

"I'm not done with you!" Massie yelled as she lunged for Derrick. But he just ducked out of her way and walked out of the room. "That bastard!" Massie sighed as she sat back down furiously.

This time, it was Alicia that was comforting Massie. "He's not worth it. Come on, let's go wake up the other girls."

Massie nodded and followed Alicia up the stairs, where the peace still remained intact. Seeing Dylan's sleeping form reminded Massie that the world wasn't all bad. The frown on her lips was replaced with a soft smile and she heard the redhead's familiar snoring.

After a few minutes, Dylan was finally shaken into awareness. She sat there, dazed, as Alicia and Massie gathered some clothing items for her to change into.

Massie handed Dylan a pair of denim shorts. "These would be nice for today's weather."

"Thanks, Mass," Dylan smiled. "How did you sleep?"

Suddenly, every muscle in Massie's body froze. She glanced at Alicia - who gave her a reassuring smile - before turning back to Dylan with a painful smile of her face. "I slept fine. How about you?"

"Man," Dylan yawned as she stretched out her long arms. "I slept like a log. If it weren't for you girls, I don't think I would've ever woken up."

Massie chuckled. "Come on, let's go eat breakfast. Alicia, will you get Kristen and Claire?"

Alicia nodded and headed down the stairs silently.

Massie walked around the room aimlessly - fingering some fabrics hanging out of the closet and staring at some of the paintings – as she waited for Dylan to finish changing.

"Hey Mass," Dylan said as she pulled on her shorts.

Massie turned and looked at her friend, trying to appear busy and pushing the vacant look out of her eyes. "What's up?"

"You're really lucky you get a whole guest house to yourself. I mean, Alicia, as tiny as she may be, snores like a pig."

Unable to do anything, Massie turned back to staring blankly at the painting hung next to the closet and nodded her head numbly. "I bet she does."

Dylan laughed. "I can't wait until I tell Josh. He'll be so shocked…"

Massie tried to smile, but she couldn't bring herself to do anything. Good thing Dylan was so preoccupied with dressing herself to notice that something was off with her best friend.

After a few more moments of waiting tensely, Dylan finished dressing and was ready to go downstairs. Massie breathed out a sigh of relief and followed her friend to the kitchen. She really needed some fresh air. All the talking about roommates has Massie hanging over the edge of a very steep cliff.

Downstairs, the rest of the girls were already seated at the breakfast counter, eating toast and drinking soymilk. Massie sat at the end of the table, next to Kristen, and placed a couple of grapes on her plate. She nibbled on one absentmindedly.

"Morning," Kristen greeted cheerily.

"Morning," Massie mumbled with a mouthful of fruit.

Before Kristen could question Massie's odd mood, Alicia walked to the other side of the counter so all the girls could see her.

"Ladies," Alicia smiled as she rubbed her hands together. "Boy do I have an adventure planned for us today."

Claire and Dylan stopped eating to look at Alicia with expectant eyes.

"We're going shopping!" Alicia squealed.

Kristen groaned. "Oh my god. I am _not_ being the bag-girl."

"Aw, Kris," Clair pouted. "You're the best bag-girl there ever was. Come on… just this once?"

"No! It's always 'just this once, Kris" or 'come on, you're the best'." Kristen pushed her plate away and crossed her arms. "I am not falling for this! Every time we go shopping, it ends up being 'Alicia-Dylan-Claire-Massie buying every fucking thing they see in the store and Kristen being reasonable and not buying anything so she should just carry the bags because what else is she here for, right?' I'm not going to make that mistake again."

"Come on…" Claire attempted her puppy eyes.

Kristen squeezed her eyes shut. "Not gonna work. Not gonna work."

"You know us too well," Alicia huffed.

Dylan rolled her eyes. "Or she's made that mistake so many times she's finally learned her lesson."

Kristen glared at Dylan. "You would know."

"Hey!" Dylan yelled playfully, throwing a piece of her bread at Kristen's blonde head.

Immediately, Kristen threw a piece of food back, and the little argument suddenly turned into a full blown war. Instantly, juice, coffee, and milk were flying through the air, heading towards the clean hair of a poor victim. Giggling screams and shouts filled the space of the large kitchen and the sound of falling plates and cups added to the noise. Massie cowered lower in her chair as her friends fired fruits and bread at each other, and winced as a wet piece of orange hit her square in the forehead.  
>With a slender hand, Massie wiped the orange off her face disgustedly and blindly threw a handful of grapes to her right side.<p>

A hard strawberry came flying back.

Finally, after a rough morning, Massie allowed a smile to take over the frown on her face. "Alright, whoever threw that is going to pay!" Grabbing her grapes, Massie threw them at her friends and joined in on the fight.

The fighting was so out of control, the girls didn't hear the boys entering the kitchen.

"Wow….food covered and soaking wet girls. My wildest fantasies have finally come true," Kemp Hurley whistled as he surveyed the messy kitchen.

All the girls stopped fighting, food in hand, mid-throw.

Kristen was the one to break the stunned silence. "You pervert!" She shrieked and launched a toasted bagel straight towards Kemp's head, hitting him right between the eyes.

He stood there, blinking the bagel crumbs out of his eyes before he reached into his soccer bag and pulled out his water bottle, squirting it into the crowd of girls who screamed as the cold water hit their skin. "That's what you get!"

On cue, all the other boys – except one brown-haired boy – joined in, all wielding their water bottles like swords and dumping them on each other.

Massie laughed along, trying to ignore the cold brown eyes watching her. A few moments later, she sneakily glanced over at Derrick, but he seemed to be interested in watching the guys throwing water at each other. Reassured that he was no longer watching her, Massie tried to let loose a little and have some more fun. But somehow, she couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. It was so hard to ignore because the eyes that watched her moments ago were so intense it sent shivers down her spine. Unable to stand it any longer, Massie plucked herself from the food-fight-turned-water-fight and ran a hand through her juice soaked hair.

"Join us, Massie!" Claire yelled, encircling her hand around Massie's wrist and trying to pull her back into the fight.

Massie smiled. "I think I'm done. I'm going to go shower, _again_."

"You're no fun," Claire whined.

"I've had too much fun." Massie pulled away from Claire and headed out the back patio to the guesthouse, brushing past the pair of icy brown eyes that watched her walk away.

::

After taking a quick shower, Massie changed her clothes and put her shoes back on her feet. She began walking down the stairs, but she felt as if there was something slimy and lumpy on the bottom of her shoe. Lifting her leg up, Massie discovered a piece of smashed banana on the bottom of her right sandal.

Massie took off her left shoe and tried to scrape a piece of smashed banana off while standing on one leg, but she suddenly lost her balance; the shoe in her hand went flying over the stairs and she came flying down them… right into the surprised arms of Derrick Harrington. He caught her instinctively, but when he saw the girl in his arms was Massie Block, immediately released her and sent her staggering a little before grabbing the railing of the staircase for balance.

"What the hell?" Massie asked when she could finally stand. Her eyes snapped to his, and there was an annoyance there that she had never seen anyone look at her with before.

"You should try working out sometime. Getting a little heavy…" Derrick replied, dusting off his clothes.

"You're saying I'm fat?" Massie repeated, eyes narrowing and lips curling distastefully. "You should be the one working out if you can't even hold a girl up."

He shifted his weight from his right foot to his left foot and stared at her impatiently from his place five feet away. "I could've caught you easily. But I didn't want to."

"You disgust me-

"You're a klutz-

"You try scraping shit off your shoe while balancing on one leg," Massie hissed

"That should teach you to wear five inch sandals." Derrick began to walk away.

Without thinking, Massie grabbed the edge of his shirtsleeve, pulling him to a stop. "Why did you catch me?"

Derrick whipped around, pulling his sleeve from Massie's grip roughly. "Let go."

"Answer my question," Massie dared.

"I caught you because I didn't want to clean your blood up from the floor. And you were going to fall on top of me, so I had to save myself."  
>"Selfish, incompetent, prick-<p>

Derrick began walking away and Massie raised her voice. "You're an idiot of a man. You call yourself a boy, huh? Well you can suck my dick because-

He turned around, dark eyebrows raised. "Massie Block has a penis?"

Massie blinked, shocked at the words she had just said, but she quickly recovered. "At lease I have one."

"Keep talking and maybe someday you'll say something intelligent," Derrick snarled. He turned back around.

"You know what, Derrick? I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."

"What? I can't hear you." He continued to walk down the hall, into the kitchen. Massie paused at the sound of dishes clinking together before storming in after him.

"How can you eat when you just ate an hour ago?" She asked crisply, watching as he ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

Derrick stopped eating. "Fuck off."

"I don't want to-

"I said _fuck off_."

"I'm not leaving-

"Go to your goddamn room and let me eat in peace!" Derrick slammed his fists down on the counter, shaking his bowl and spoon dangerously. "My god, you don't know when to stop, do you?"

Massie crossed her arms. "Are you like my dad or something? Telling me to go to my room is real mature of you."

Derrick rolled his eyes. "If I was your dad, I'd kill myself."

"Good. Save me the trouble."

"Don't you have friends to get to," he scowled, finishing his cereal with a loud slurp. "Go run off and do whatever shit you girls do."

"Don't patronize me," Massie spat dangerously.

"I'll stop when you stop acting like a fucking stubborn baby," Derrick mumbled, dropping his dishes into the sink. He turned around and walked towards Massie slowly. She watched shakily as he stopped only when he was an inch away. His breath was hot in her ear when he whispered, "You'll never win this war, Block, so back out before you really get hurt."

Then he strode out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Following the earsplitting slam of his door was the loud booming of rap music.

::

It was eleven at night when they both walked into the house. Massie walked up the stairs and entered her room quietly, taking off her painful shoes and plopping down onto her bed. She and Derrick had argued all afternoon and throughout the course of their dinner with their friends. Massie was growing increasingly tired of shouting at him; his voice was giving her a massive headache.

Just as she was about to close her eyes, Massie heard the unmistakable stomping of Derrick Harrington up the stairs. She groaned and plugged her ears with her fingers. She was going to ignore him. He was not to get on her nerves anymore because she was above him. The mean things that he said were only a pitiful defense mechanism against her.

Maybe it was the way the wine was affecting her, but Massie suddenly didn't seem so keen on hurting him anymore.

As Derrick walked down the hall, he paused at the door of her room on the way to his. Poking his head through the doorway, Derrick saw Massie lying on her bed and instantly, several insults floated around in his mind.

"Off to bed so early? Not much of a party animal, are we?"

Massie shook her head. "Nope."

He faltered. Where were the spiteful comebacks she had fired so skillfully at him today? "Something wrong with you?"

"Just tired, that's all."

Derrick was about to take a step into her room when she suddenly shot up. Her eyes were blank as they looked at him, bored almost. "Don't come into my room, please."

"Save the pathetic polite shit," Derrick scoffed. "We're already past that."

"I'm going to sleep."

"I don't give a fuck."

Massie sighed. "Then would you please leave?"

Derrick opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly, Massie stood up and slowly walked over. She grasped the silver doorknob and kept her eyes on the floor.

"Is there anything else?"

Derrick sputtered. "W-what-

"Goodnight then," she mumbled before she clicked the door shut right in his face.

::

**Note: **So Massie's feelings towards Derrick are changing? Don't worry, they won't wake up and fall madly in love with each other. There are still a couple of fiery arguments to get past before they can move on with their relationship. Let me know that you think.


	4. Scent

**Song:** My Chemical Romance – I Don't Love You

**Note: **Sorry it took so long to get this up. My power's been out for two days due to a stupid thunderstorm. But now that everything's back up and running, hopefully I can update faster.

::

**Colorblind**

::

Everyday when she came back to the house, he was there; ready to drill her brain with insults and complaints. It was driving her crazy and it was starting to drain the life out of her. Massie tried to ignore him as best as she could, but he was _always_ there.

She had been in California for a week now and he had already given her more stress-induced headaches than she had in her lifetime.

The words he used were always the same.

Bitch.

Ugly.

Useless.

Disgusting.

Sometimes the words hurt, but not as much as they used to. Massie was beginning to grow immune to them. Every time he opened his mouth, she practically already knew what he was going to say. But sometimes he threw something new at her, and it would catch her completely off guard. It would rattle her a bit, but she knew he was just trying to goad a fight out of her. She would take deep breaths, avoid eye contact, and walk away from him. It was the easiest thing to do, because if she fully involved herself in the fight, she would get hurt. And she was not going to let herself get hurt this time.

Derrick was starting to notice Massie's different behavior, and that was exactly what she wanted. She wanted him to see that she was tired of yelling and screaming at him. She wanted him to see that she no longer wanted to be stomped on by his feet. She was her own person and she could handle him calmly and controllably. There would be no fiery arguments anymore.

But the only thing Massie worried about was how long she could last. It won't be soon before her match of composure burns out.

::

Massie walked through the door, her arms laden with new bags of clothes and small things that she bought from the shops in Malibu. It had been yet another day of backbreaking shopping.

She dropped her bags at the bottom of the stairs, went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea, and came back to the living room to sit down and read her new magazine.

Of course, he was there, waiting for her; a smirk on his pink lips and a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. Massie rolled her eyes, set her tea down on the table, and pulled out her magazine.

"How was your day?" He asked, making a show to look like he actually cared. "Filled with eventful things, I assume?"

Massie nodded. "It was fine."

"Well I hope you didn't waste a beautiful day like this away by going shopping," Derrick countered. His voice grew a little uneven when he noticed how much Massie didn't care.

"No. We did. But I thought it was amazing. You never waste a day away when you get to spend it with your best friends that you've known since you were in eighth grade. They're truly amazing-

"I didn't ask for you to tell me your life story," Derrick grumbled.

Massie remained unshaken. "Sorry."  
>Derrick walked closer to her, a cruel smile on his face. He leaned over the edge of the couch where her head was resting to see what she was reading. "You seriously read that <em>People<em> crap?"

"I think it's interesting." Massie shrugged. She just shrugged and continued to read. She was giving him the silent treatment, testing how he was going to react.

Derrick scoffed. "You think that shit is interesting? It's all a bunch of bull to me."

"Well you're entitled to your own opinions."

Derrick wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion. He didn't understand why she was acting like this; like she was okay with him making fun of her. It wasn't right. She needed to fight back. She needed to push him. He wasn't used to this and he didn't like it one bit.

He grabbed the magazine out of her hands and threw it behind him roughly. "Fucking look at me!"

Massie sat up slowly and leveled her eyes with his. She wore the same bored expression that she has been looking at him with for the past few days. Ignoring his juvenile tantrums was easier than she thought it would be.

"Now why did you do that?" She asked him like a mother asking a child who had done something wrong.

"I know the sick game you're trying to play on me, but it's not going to work. Sooner or later, you'll crack, and I'll be waiting right there to scatter your pieces."

She raised an eyebrow. "That's great, Derrick. But what are you going to do when I never crack?"

"You will. Trust me. I'll push you over the edge and beyond. You won't ever be able to find yourself once I'm done with you." He breathed in deeply, and strangely, he could smell her. She smelled like green tea and coconuts and it smelled delicious. But then he remembered who he smelled and coughed, trying to emit the perfumed air from his system.

"You really shouldn't hand out empty threats-

"Empty threats my ass-

"I'd really like to see you act upon your words-

"Consider yourself warned."

He got up with a huff and stormed up to his room. Although she knew the piercing crack of the door would sound, it never ceased to make her cringe when the dreadful noise hit her ears.

Finally, once the air calmed down, Massie walked over and picked up her magazine. She then sat herself back on the couch and continued to read about the week's newest juicy celebrity gossip. A glow of satisfaction filled her body warmly as she scanned over the pages, not really reading them. She had won against Derrick, _finally_. She had put up with his bullshit and made it through without any scratches. Massie smiled. She could get used to this.

::

The next morning, Massie made her way towards Alicia's house, whistling a cheery tune that had been stuck in her head all morning.

She slid the door open effortlessly and walked in to the air conditioned home. The smell of pancakes and sticky syrup wafted up her nose, causing her stomach to growl hungrily.

Massie entered the kitchen to see everyone seated around the large dining table, eating pancakes and talking happily. She was about to walk over to the empty seat beside Dylan when a body suddenly cut her off.

"Watch it," he growled.

Massie looked up to see the brown eyes of Derrick. She sighed, her good mood instantly evaporating. "I'm not in the mood for an argument today. So if you don't mind, I'd going to eat-

"I don't give a fuck about what you're going to do."

"Good," she tried to walk around him, but he stopped her. "Get out of my way, Derrick."

"Don't tell me what to do."

Massie stared blankly. "We're in front of our friends. Let's try to be civil towards each other, please?"

Derrick laughed coldly. "Let them see us fighting. We'll put on a fucking show for all of them!"

Everyone grew silent and looked at the two arguing. Alicia massaged her temple and closed her eyes.

Massie leaned closer to Derrick, her face flushed with embarrassment. "Please stop what you're doing."

Derrick tilted his face to her, his icy eyes meeting her fearful ones. "Embarrassed, are we?"

She could smell him now. He smelled like sleep and mint and sweet, sweet summer. Massie's brain suddenly felt very confused. How could someone so evil smell so heavenly? She wrinkled her nose. "Fuck off."

She walked towards her awestricken friends and sat down as casually as possible. "What?" She asked the eyes staring at her. They immediately fluttered from her towards Derrick, who also came to sit down.

"Hope memorized me enough to describe me to the police after I kick your asses," Derrick grumbled. Without looking at the reaction of his shocked friends, he ducked his head down and started to eat.

Massie rolled her eyes. "Immature."

Alicia elbowed her. "You guys fight like an old married couple."

Massie shuddered. "If I was ever married to him, I'd kill myself."

Alicia just chuckled and continued to finish her breakfast. Massie calmed herself down and began eating hers too. Everything was going smoothly, but once again, she couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that someone was watching her – someone with very angry brown eyes.

::

Later that night, after a tiring day of stalking celebrity homes with their star maps, Massie and the girls all ended up sitting in her guesthouse, sipping vodka martinis and talking about the day's findings.

"Who knew Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had such a _humongous_ house?" Claire asked, nibbling on a slice of pineapple.

Kristen rolled her eyes. "Well you would think a movie star would be living _above average_."

"Whatever," Claire mumbled.

Massie laughed at the two bickering girls. They never seemed to stop arguing, yet they were the best of friends. It was quite hilarious to watch them.

"Really? Vodka martinis are for pussies," a saccharine voice wafted into the living room.

Massie's eyes instantly snapped to Derrick's shirtless form lurking in the doorway. "I'm surprised you even know what they are."

"Please," Derrick scoffed. "I can smell weakness anywhere."

Alicia sipped her drink coolly. "Fine. You try drinking ten of these without getting hung-over."

"Easy." Derrick came over and snatched Alicia's drink out of her hand. He swallowed it in one gulp. Then, he proceeded to take Massie's, Dylan's, Kristen's, and Claire's drink, downing them all in one breath.

When he was done, he slammed the last glass on the table and stood up straight. He surveyed the whole room before a satisfied smirk spread across his face. "See? Easy."

Dylan crossed her arms. "You only drank five."

"Well look who can count," Derrick mocked. "Keep 'em coming."

Alicia grimaced and stalked off to the kitchen to pour more drinks. The rest of the girls sat in the living room uncomfortably, watching Derrick's ego swell larger and larger.

When Alicia came back, Derrick grabbed all five glasses and drank them at the same time, splashing wine all over the floor and the table.

"Done!" He exclaimed while carelessly tossing the cups aside.

"You're a pig." Alicia waved her hand at him distastefully. "Come on girls, let's go. Good night, Massie."

"Finally!" Derrick exclaimed as he stomped up the stairs dizzily. He was not going to feel well tomorrow morning.

As the girls started to leave, Claire leaned in to Massie's ear. "I can't believe you lived a week with him already. I would've run out on the second day. And after everything he's done to you? I don't know how you stand it."

Massie shrugged. "I think he's just misled."

Claire smiled sympathetically. "Whatever works for you." Then she walked out, following the rest of the girls, leaving Massie to think alone.

Did she really think he was misled? Or was she just giving herself an excuse to tolerate him?

With a clouded mind, Massie went up to get ready to sleep. As she walked past his room on her way to the bathroom, she could smell his scent wafting from the crack under the door. Scent was something she usually didn't notice about a person, but something about Derrick's smell sent her senses into overdrive.

And as she entered the bathroom, she noticed that she could smell him once again. It was annoying, having a reminder of him everywhere, but Massie didn't feel the hatred that usually came with things involving Derrick. He smelled nice. As weird as it was, she actually liked smelling his minty, summery smell.

Massie groaned. This was slowly going to drive her insane.

::

**Note: Any thoughts on this chapter? I know it is shorter than the previous ones, but not all of them can be ten pages long. Sorry. Please read and review. **


	5. Taste

**Note: **I'm really sorry for the late update. Hopefully this chapter can make up for it. And just a heads up, I will be gone from July 17th – August 7th. I will be posting a lot of chapters before I leave so you guys will have something to read while I am gone.

::

**Colorblind**

::

Massie woke up with a start.

There was a loud smashing sound in the room beside her. It sounded like the walls were being pounded in with a hammer.

She blinked a couple of times; what the hell was going on? Her mind was whirring. Did someone break in? Who would be making so much noise at such an ungodly hour of the morning? A million thoughts flooded Massie's mind as she tried to comprehend what was happening.

Massie slowly got out of bed and opened her door. And then it came to her, washing her body in an uncomfortable chill that caused her to shiver slightly.

Derrick was hung-over.

Just like that, her confusion was replaced with anger. She marched over to his door and knocked on it roughly.

"What?" A gruff voice screamed from the other side, followed by a loud crash as things fell to the floor.

Massie pounded her fist on the door this time, shaking it in its frame. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you?"

"None of your business!" Came a quick reply.

Massie rolled her eyes, unsatisfied with his answer. Swiftly, she twisted the silver doorknob that led to his room and pushed the door open. The familiar scent of minty toothpaste and sleep wafted gently up her nose.

Wrinkling her nose, Massie scanned the room. CD's and magazines were littered all over the floor – on top of clothes and under furniture. There was a small mountain of dirty laundry by the closet and Massie wondered how it was possible to get the room so dirty in the matter of eight days.

Derrick was lying on his bed, star-fished with his face smashed into his duvet. He was breathing quickly and angrily like an angry lion that was not to be provoked. The blinds were pulled tightly shut, preventing any sunlight from sneaking in.

"Get out," Derrick growled. His voice was muffled by his blanket, therefore taking the edge out of his threat.

Massie crossed her arms. "Why were you pounding the wall?"

No answer.

"Why were you pounding-

"I heard you the first time."

"Alright. Answer me."

Derrick grumbled something incoherent and turned his face slightly so he could breathe. His eyes were open – his deep brown eyes – and they were staring straight at her callously. Annoyance and hatred was written so plainly on his face that it would have been offensive except for the fact that the situation was slightly hilarious. His lips were pulled into a tight line. The inevitable dark circles were under his eyes. And to add to the whole "hangover" look, his eyes were slightly bloodshot.

"Are you going to talk-

"Shut up."

Massie took a step closer to him. She watched as he flinched a little and sat up, ruffling his messy hair.

"That's what you get for drinking ten drinks."

"I have a good idea," he dead-panned, eyes still staring right into Massie's. "How about you shut the fuck up and leave me alone?"

Derrick smirked at the agitated expression that flitted over Massie's face.

"Well _sorry_ for feeling a little compassion towards you. I was just wondering if you were okay."

His eyes narrowed. "I don't need pity from you."

"Fine then. Just keep the pounding down. It's giving me a migraine." Massie turned to leave his room.

"Hold on."

Her arms stiffened at her sides. "What?" She clenched between her teeth. He was trying to get under her skin again. It was always a constant circle for them – him picking on her and her trying her best to brush off his crude remarks.

"I would like it if you got me a glass of water."

Massie couldn't help but laugh at his stupid request. She turned around, a cold look in her eyes. "You honestly expect me to get _you_ a glass of water?"

He nodded, arrogance written plainly on his face. He even had the guts to smile at her.

"Too bad." Massie walked out and slammed the door.

::

"So yeah! Josh and I were talking and I think we totally clicked." Alicia waved her fork around animatedly.

Massie smiled at her friend. "That's great news."

"I know," Alicia beamed. "He might even ask me out tonight. Isn't that so romantic?"

"Uh-huh." Massie rolled the olives on her plate around absent-mindedly. She hated olives, but she ordered a salad with one anyway. She just ended up eating everything except the small round vegetables.

The girls were sitting under a bright yellow awning of a small bistro by the beach. Everyone was chatting enthusiastically except Massie. Her brain was clouded with thoughts of Derrick. Mean ones, hateful ones, and even a little bit of ones with longing. It was stupid, but Derrick was an attractive person. He had a very athletic body. He was tall and when he smiled, it always reached his eyes. But of course Massie wouldn't know. He's never smiled at her before – the whole ten years she's known him.

"Hey." Dylan poked Massie's arm. "Are you okay?"

Massie smiled vacantly. "I'm fine. Just thinking."

"About what?" Claire questioned. "Shopping? The beach? _Boys_?"

Massie rolled her eyes playfully and kicked Claire's shin from under the table. "It's just… lately… Derrick has been bothering me a lot. And even though I try to ignore his words, they still hurt sometimes."

Alicia frowned. "I still feel like I am at fault for placing you two in the same room. I wish I could move you, but no one else is willing to move. All of their stuff has been unpacked. I asked everyone."

All the girls nodded and Massie smiled gratefully. "You guys are truly some good friends."

Kristen slung her arm around Massie's shoulder and kissed the brunette on the cheek. "We've got your back, honey. If that douche bag ever hurts you, we'll be there to kick his ass in a second."

"That's comforting," Massie sighed.

Suddenly, Claire squealed and grabbed Massie's wrist, pulling her attention away from Kristen.

"What?"

"Look who's walking up the beach!"

Massie casually glanced at the beach, where an ocean soaked Cam Fisher was walking up towards the restaurant, a surfboard tucked under this toned left arm.

Suddenly, Massie couldn't breathe. Her undying crush for Cam had never faded and it's been around five years. He had never noticed her maybe until now. She quickly fixed her hair and wiped her mouth with a napkin.

"Hey ladies," Cam's sweet voice greeted.

"Hey Cam," Alicia said as she sipped her iced tea.

"Hi Cam," Massie murmured, wringing her hands nervously. He looked at her, and she swore something lit up in his eyes. His beautiful two-toned eyes. They were mesmerizing and so deep and…

"Hey Massie."

Massie caught herself staring and blushed lightly, feeling a small tingle of heat rushing up to her cheeks. "Would you like to join us for lunch?"

The girls around Massie started snickering and giggling. They knew Massie was practically in love with Cam, but they just couldn't handle themselves at how awkward Massie was whenever she talked to him.

Cam shook out his wet, curly hair. "No, but thanks for offering."

Massie's heart sank. "Oh."

"Yeah, I promised the guys I would go out for pizza with them. But maybe some other time?"

Massie couldn't decide if the little lilt in his voice was hopeful, or if it was just common courtesy. She decided not to worry too much about it and plastered her winning smile on her glossed lips. "That sounds great. I'll talk to you later."

Dylan coughed. "_We'll_ talk to you later. See you, Cam."

Massie blushed once again, forgetting that her friends were eating at the same table as her. Once Cam was out of sight, she buried her face in her hands.

"How bad was it?" She groaned.

Dylan patted her back gently. "It wasn't _that_ bad… except the last part when you totally forgot there were other people sitting at the table."

Claire giggled. "Don't worry Massie. If I were you, I would be going crazy too. He is just so delicious to look at. And those abs…"

"Claire," Massie glared. "Time to close that mouth of yours."

Claire sunk down in her seat and nursed her lemonade. "Sorry."

Massie looked back in the direction that Cam was heading. She finally had a chance with him and he was actually paying attention. This was exciting. This has never happened to her. No guy had ever been even remotely interested in her before. She couldn't stop the small smile that pulled at the corners of her mouths.

"Alright ladies, let's go celebrate. Massie's finally gonna get laid."

Massie gasped and smacked Kristen in the mouth.

Everyone chuckled, gathered their bags, and left.

::

The music at the club was deafening. Massie didn't know how Alicia managed to sneak them inside, but they got in without a scratch. The girls headed to the bar almost immediately to start the partying. But Massie hung back. She was in no mood to get wasted.

After a couple hours of dancing amongst sweaty bodies, Massie finally had enough. She tracked Alicia down and told her she was going to leave.

Alicia nodded, but she was probably too wasted to even know who she was talking to.

Massie pushed her way through the moving crowd and emerged in the fresh air with a deep breath. It was nice to breath in the salty ocean after inhaling smoke fumes and alcohol for the past three hours.

She hailed a cab and rode home silently.

When Massie arrived at the guesthouse, the living room light was on. Strange – it was two in the morning. But it was Derrick and since he was so unpredictable, Massie walked inside without even bothering to think.

"You're back."

Massie whipped around. Derrick was wasted, yet again. There was an empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table.

"You're going to become an alcoholic."

"Who says I'm not already one."

Massie took off her heels and padded over to the couch where Derrick was sitting. "That's not something to be proud of."

"Have a drink," Derrick gestured to the new bottle of alcohol he had just brought out. "You look tense."

"And you look like shit," Massie smirked as she poured herself a glass of scotch. She drank it in one gulp, allowing the bitter alcohol to burn her throat.

Derrick tried to grab for the bottle, but his hands were shaking so bad that he ended up grabbing Massie's arm instead. Disgusted, Massie yanked herself out of his grasp and stood up.

"Get to bed, Harrington."

"I'm not ready yet."

"You're already wasted beyond belief. The party's over."

Derrick frowned and grabbed the scotch, swigging it straight from the bottle. With a satisfied sigh, he slammed it back down on the glass table with a loud clank. "Talk to me, Massie. I'm lonely." There was this strange sincerity in his voice that she had never heard before.

Massie froze. "What the hell?"

"No one ever wants to talk to me because no one understands!"

Derrick stumbled a little and Massie stuck an arm out to catch him. "Are you okay? What's gotten into your head?"

"I don't know! I don't know!" He tugged at his hair anxiously.

Massie swallowed loudly. She couldn't look at this. If he was going to have a mental breakdown, he was going to have to do it in front of someone else.

"Look, I don't have time for this." Massie shook her head and started to head up the stairs.

Derrick stomped after her. "Does this make you happy? Seeing me like this? I am not the strong person I put myself to be! I am weak. Does that make you happy?"

Massie turned around and stared at him. "Yes. It makes me very happy."

"You know what? You're a bitch! Seeing other people weak and vulnerable makes you happy!"

A sudden hatred spiked through Massie as she remembered the person that Derrick Harrington truly was. Even in his drunken haze, he was an ass. "You don't know what you're talking about," Massie growled.

"You just want to have the upper-hand. Always trying to make me feel like a shit by making yourself better than me. But you're not! You're just the same low-life like me!"

She walked towards him and poked him in the chest. "You were the one that made my life miserable all those years, do you remember that? Do you even remember all those things that you said to me? You called me _ugly_ so many times I actually started to believe it myself. You're the one that's hurting me, not the other way around." Surprisingly, Massie's voice managed to remain calm and steady.

"I was saying those things because they were the truth!" Derrick sputtered, walking back to the couch to sit down angrily.

"I don't want to talk to you about this."

"Don't walk away. You're weak."

Massie's grip on the banister tightened. "You're the weak one, picking on me to make yourself feel better. Why do you hurt me now? There's nothing here for you to make fun of."

"Maybe I just don't like you."

Massie pursed her lips and crossed her arms, a shield she invented herself to protect herself from any verbal blows. "Maybe I just don't like you either."

There was an eerie silence between them as they stared each other down. A lot of hateful things passed between their glares.

Finally, Derrick broke eye contact and took another swig of scotch. "Tell me how you really feel about me."

Massie laughed, not amused. "You don't want to hear it."

"Try me."

"It would bruise your little ego beyond recognition. You're dignity will be all over the floor once I'm done attacking you."

Derrick smirked. "You're little remarks mean nothing to me."

Massie braced herself for the verbal blows she was about to unleash. "I don't even know where to fucking begin. I think the worst thing you've ever done to me was killing a little bit of my childhood. You ruined it and now it's dead. At such a young age, I already knew what death felt like. If only you knew how much it hurt. Then maybe you would be a better person than you are now."

"Bullshit."

"I'm not done," Massie glared. "Growing up really hurt because of you. You had a knife with you and you cut me every chance you got. You're the weak one because I managed to endure all those blows and you're still dishing them out."

"How does that make me weak?"

Massie narrowed her eyes. "Because you don't know when to stop."

Derrick drank another glass. "That's not a reason."

"Well then here's one. You are such a fucking asshole. You have no heart, no feelings, and no emotions. All you can do is drown your fucking little worries in alcohol and bitch about them to whoever walks into the room next. But guess what? No one fucking cares! Why? Because you've made yourself into a friendless loser. None of your friends like you because you're not worth their time. You have no compassion inside you."

Derrick opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. For a brief second, unbearable pain washed over his stiff expression. Massie's eyes widened. Did she really manage to strike a weak spot?

"You can't just assume how my friends feel about me."

"I don't need to. I already know."

Derrick's lip twitched. "You're a bitch."

"At least I'm a bitch with friends."

Suddenly, the unexpected happened. He covered his face with his hands began to cry. He started to fucking cry. "I'm a really mean person, aren't I? Tell me the truth, Massie. Tell me the truth!"

Massie had to idea what to do in the situation. She stared at him for ten long seconds before sitting next to him on the couch, but refrained from touching him. "Well… I don't really know what to say to you." Her voice had softened indefinitely now that he was crying. Maybe she had taken it too far.

Derrick looked up, his cheeks streaked with tears. "Aren't you going to yell at me and tell me that I'm a bad person? That I don't deserve to live? Because I am and I know it. You don't have to hide it from me."

"I'm not hiding anything from you. I already told you everything I've ever felt about you. You're drunk and you don't know what you're saying."

Derrick shook his head. "I'm not drunk!"

Another round of sobs shook his body. Massie sat there and watched him. She was at a complete loss for words. Nothing came to her mind because she was so in shock. She had never seen anyone like this before.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because I am sad!"

Massie stumbled over her words. "Is there… do you… is there anything I can do?"

"You hate me!" Derrick kicked his feet like a little toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Massie scooted back in her seat a little, slightly worried for her own safety.

A sudden wave of concern for him filled Massie's body. She couldn't leave him like this. It wouldn't be the right thing to do and she knew that if she just left him here, she wouldn't be able to sleep.

"Fuck." Massie grumbled under her breath. She hated feeling something even remotely close to kindness towards the person she hated the most. "Let's get you to bed," she whispered and slung Derrick's arm around her shoulders, lifting him off the couch and pulling him up the stairs.

He was heavy so it took a while to get him upstairs.

"I'm not ready for this." His eyes were half open.

"Ready for what?" She asked as she laid him down on his bed.

"I don't want to sleep."

"Tell me what you want."

Derrick propped himself up on his elbows. "I want you."

Then he pressed his lips to Massie's for a brief flash of a second and Massie swore she saw a fire in front of her eyes. He pulled away quickly, but his face remained close to hers. She could feel his hot breath every time he breathed.

Massie couldn't move. She pushed Derrick back down on the bed and ran out of his room, slamming the door behind her.

Quickly, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Alicia's number.

Alicia answered on the third ring. "Finally decided to come back to the party?" The loud music of the club was blasting annoyingly in the background of their call.

Massie massaged her temples quickly.

"I need to get the fuck out of here."

Alicia paused. "What?"

"I don't care if you're drunk or lucid; just get me the hell out of here!" Massie screamed into the phone. Then, she hung up abruptly and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

And no matter how hard she brushed, the taste of Derrick's lips was still on her mouth once she was done.

With a frustrated scream, Massie stomped out of the bathroom and started to pack up all of her things.

::

**Note: **OMFG THEY KISSED.

Enjoy ;)


	6. Weak

**Note: **I AM REALLY SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR OVER A MONTH. I know I promised you guys a couple of updates before I leave for camp, but I seriously could not fit it in. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait.

**Song: **Skyscraper – Demi Lovato

::

**Colorblind**

::

The last of her two giant suitcases have been dragged down the stairs heavily, and now they lay in a pile in the living room. Massie rubbed her hands on her jeans and looked around.

It had only been nine days. _Nine days_.

But in those nine days, Massie had experienced painful feelings and emotions she had never felt before.

Hatred. Anger. Misery. Loneliness. Longing.

They were all rushing around in her mind now, taunting and teasing her, yelling at her to give in because that was the easiest thing to do. But Massie wasn't looking for an easy way out. She was just looking for relief.

She really couldn't live here anymore. That kiss with Derrick a few hours earlier had ignited a fire within her. It wasn't the kind of fire that only lit up when you finally felt love; it was the fire that burned deep within the fiery depths of Hell. It was burning within her so fiercely, her insides felt hot. An irritation itched at her fingertips, and she gripped the edges of her jeans roughly.

What was he doing to her? Why did he have this effect on her? She didn't want him here; around her, all over her. She wanted to be free of him.

That was the reason why she had to leave. Because Derrick Harrington was slowly ripping her life, stitch by stitch, seam by seam. He was going to destroy her. And there would be no going back from there.

Reluctantly, Massie gripped her two suitcases, pushed the front door open, and stepped out into the chilly night air.

::

The salty ocean air was making fun of her.

_Go on and leave, see all I care. _

_ You're just a wimp, Massie Block. A big, fat, ugly wimp. _

_ No one's going to miss you here. In fact, they're all relieved that you're leaving. _

_ See you later, bitch. Actually, don't come back. _

Massie shook herself. The only person she was hurting was herself. The internal rambling needed to stop. She had to stick through this; this decision. This very _wrong_ decision was a decision she made on her own nonetheless, and she was going to push through it.

Pulling out a piece of notebook paper, Massie quickly scrawled a note to her friends.

**Everyone- **

** Sorry for leaving so abruptly. Guess I just couldn't stay here anymore. Keep in touch. See you at school. **

** Massie**

Massie tucked it under the porch door so Alicia could see it when she opened it.

With one last glance at the dark house, Massie sighed and walked away.

The breeze was picking up and she was getting cold. Maybe it was the emptiness that rattled pointlessly within her, with no reason to be there except a reminder of what a failure she was.

Why couldn't she just face him? Why was she so scared of him? Tonight was the night he was vulnerable, and yet she managed to turn it all around so that once again he was the monster.

Massie felt blank. She felt as if she was standing in a shallow pool of air, with no purpose there but to stand. She cast her eyes out into the dark horizon, memorizing the beautiful night sky before returning back to Westchester.

Suddenly, a dark shadow moved under the moonlight.

Massie held her breath and squinted her eyes for a closer look.

A flash of dirty brown hair caught her eye. It was too dark to be Derrick and too light to be Josh. Massie took a step closer, abandoning her suitcase for the mysterious figure on the beach.

She slowly walked onto the sand and towards the sitting person. In the darkness, she could make out pale skin and masculine features.

The person turned. "Who's there?" It was Cam.

"It's Massie."

He visibly relaxed. "Oh. What are you doing here this late?"

She sat down next to him. She could feel his body heat radiating in the small space between them. She drew a circle in the sand with her left hand. "I could ask you the same."

Cam sighed. "I just have a lot of things on my mind, you know?"

"I know." Massie nodded. She kept her eyes on the ever-moving ocean, feeling the salty spray on her cheeks and the sand granules on her flip-flop clad feet. "This summer was supposed to be a vacation. A break – I guess – from the real world."

"But it's turning into a total mess."

Massie twisted her body to face him. "What's going on with you?"

Cam closed his eyes for a long time. His dark lashes melded together into a dark curtain that curled lightly at the ends. His eyebrows were creased together in deep thought. Massie had never seen anyone so beautiful.

"I… just… you know… Claire… shit..." He ran a hand through his sandy hair, exasperated.

"What's wrong with Claire?"

"I liked her."

Massie paused. _Cam liked Claire? How did she miss this?_

"You like Claire?"

Cam shook his head. "I _liked_ her, liked as in past tense."

Massie kept calm. "What happened?"

"There's someone else."

"Who? Is she here?"

Cam nodded and stared straight at her. "She's here."

"Well…" Massie replied nervously, casting her eyes away from Cam's. "Claire's a good person too."

"But she's not who I thought she would be."

Massie nodded. "You can never set your expectations too high."

Finally, Massie met his eyes. They were shockingly bright in the dark of the night, and Massie almost stumbled back from the intensity of his stare. She held her breath. He was so handsome… she just wanted to touch him. Just reach her hand out and feel him beneath her fingertips.

"What's on your mind, Massie?"

Massie instantly colored, and prayed that the lack of light would cover the embarrassing blush creeping up her cheeks. "A lot of things."

Cam leaned back into the sand and propped himself up on his elbows. "I guess we have a lot of time to kill right now."

Massie mimicked Cam's actions. Once she was level with him, a sudden strong gust of wind blew in her direction and Massie could smell Cam. He smelled like musky cologne; the kind found at stores like Abercrombie or Hollister. And even though the smell was a little boyish, it suited Cam perfectly. Massie smiled to herself.

"This summer was supposed to be perfect. Well, I really shouldn't say "supposed", but that's what I expected it to be at least. I was really looking forward to hanging out with all of you guys. But then Derrick came along, and things just kind of went downhill from there. You and I, we both have experience with setting our expectations too high, and once you realize the reality of it all, the blow really hurts."

She turned to Cam to see his reaction, but he was silent and intently watching her, so Massie ignored his burning look and kept talking. "Remember when Derrick made fun of me constantly when I was younger? It was terrible, it really was. I didn't want to go to school at all. But then high school came along, and I had these amazing girls who were my best friends and I felt ready to take on the world. And then we met you, and Josh, and Kemp, and Chris, and it was great. I mean, even though I didn't really like you guys because you were friends with Derrick, it was truly great. I finally had a secure circle of friends.

"But I guess I was only secure on the outside. On the inside, I was still unsure of where I stood in all of this. I mean, I was so afraid that everyone would leave me one day that I would do my best to please everyone, constantly. It was extremely tiring and I regret trying to be the perfect Massie, but I don't regret trying hard to become friends with you guys. It was worth it in the end."

"Massie…"

"But I can't stay here anymore. I just… I broke, you know? I really don't know how to explain this, but tonight, Derrick kissed me. And it was terrifying, and now I'm leaving because I'm weak, and I need time to heal alone, but my greatest fear is to be _alone_. How am I supposed to heal when I'm walking directly into my biggest fear?"

"Massie, you don't have to leave like this."

Massie shook her head. "It's the only way."

"How do you know?" Cam was still watching her closely. "How do you know that you're not strong enough to face him? He's the weaker one, not you. But if you leave, you're showing Derrick that he won. How are you going to live that down?"

"I don't know. I really don't know." Massie's voice wavered slightly with the weight of her realization. She really didn't know where to go from here.

Cam looked back at the ocean. "I'm really sorry for all the things Derrick did to you, and I'm even sorrier that all I did was stand there and watch. There's nothing more cowardly than standing on the sidelines and watching."

Massie sat up and rubbed her face with her hands, pushing her hair back. "What happened has happened. It wasn't any of your business anyway. Don't blame yourself."

Cam sat up too, and he took her by the shoulders and turned her so that Massie was facing him. "I wish I had helped you. I wish I was a good friend to you."

"Cam," Massie sighed. "You _are_ a good friend, okay? It was a long time ago."

"Then you should be able to let it go."

Massie froze at his words. Was he actually suggesting that she should let it go? "Do you honestly expect me to forget all those years of torture just like that? It's not easy, you know, having to room with your reminder and seeing his face everyday. It's not easy, Cam."

Cam smiled softly. "I know it's not easy, but you have to at least try."

Massie shook herself out of Cam's grasp and stood up. "You don't know anything. I tried _everything_. I yelled back, I screamed and punched, I ignored him, I cried. It doesn't work! It never works! Just stay out of it."

She began stomping off the beach, back to where her bags were waiting ominously. A strange feeling was stirring inside of her. Massie didn't know why she was so angry all of a sudden. She felt that it might have something to do with Cam not being on her side. The words he said were kind, but they showed no sign of agreeing with her.

"Massie, listen to me." Cam raced up and fell in step with her. "You brought it up. I'm involved now. But letting people in doesn't mean they're going to hurt you. I want to help you, Massie. I'm your friend, you can trust me."

Massie was shaking. "If you're going to dish out this "friend" crap, dish it out to someone who cares! I don't give a fuck!"

"You're weak, you know that?" Cam's voice was low with anger. "You're just going to walk away after I offered to help you? What kind of person does that? Why are you so damn angry all of a sudden?"

"I'm not angry," Massie growled. She picked up her heavy bags and began to drag them to the driveway.

"You can't just push anyone who tries to help you away! You're going to have to let someone in, someday. Don't be the weakling you think you are."

Massie dropped her suitcases, whipped around, and marched towards Cam, finger pointed threateningly. "Shut the fuck up. You don't know anything. You practically just found out tonight-

"Don't deny it-

"What the hell are you trying to do? Goad a fucking monster out of me? Because I sure as hell am ready to let one loose on you."

Cam backed up and stretched his arms out. "Bring it on."

Massie opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't get any words out. Cam didn't deserve her anger. She had no right directing her anger towards Derrick at someone innocent. Promptly, Massie shut her mouth, turned back around, grabbed her suitcases, and continued walking. They could all hate her. She didn't give a fuck. All she needed right now was to leave.

"So I guess you really are weak, huh? You're really not the person I thought you were then. There goes my tendency to set up high expectations." Cam shouted behind her.

Over the loud rushing in her ears, Massie faintly heard Cam's hurtful words. Tears were brimming in her eyes now. She stopped moving and turned around slowly.

"I guess I am weak."

"I guess you are."

Massie didn't move. In the darkness, she stared at Cam's pale figure and wondered if he knew what she was feeling right now. Her emotions were like a hurricane, spinning within her brain, pulling and pushing. She wanted it all to be over.

"Wow."

Cam furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

"That hurt even more coming out of someone else's mouth."

Cam sighed and tugged at the end of his shirt. Was he waiting for her to say something?

Massie breathed in deeply. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I never really ever truly felt like a weak person until you said it to me. No one's ever told me something like that before and it feels bad. I don't like it."

"What do you want me to tell you?" Cam looked back up at her, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

"Tell me this feeling will go away."

"It won't until you decide to do something about it."

"I don't want this to hurt this much," Massie admitted quietly, sighing in defeat.

Cam walked over to her, pried the suitcases out of her hands. "I know. But it will pass, I promise."

Massie wrapped her arms around Cam's waist and held on for her life. "I'm really sorry for putting all this shit on you. Thanks for listening."

"Don't be. I'm really glad you did."

"You must think I'm weird now."

Cam laughed. "You're as weird as they come, Massie Block."

Massie pulled back from the hug. "That monster is still waiting to be unleashed."

"I'm shaking with fear." Cam smiled and picked up one of Massie's suitcases. The two walked back to Massie's guesthouse quietly.

Maybe Derrick wasn't going to win this war after all.


	7. Drown

**Note (PLEASE READ): **Wow people! I've officially reached over 100 reviews! I am so happy and so so so so grateful to have readers like you guys!

I know that for a couple of you, the previous chapter was a little disappointing, and I just want to point out that there can't be Massie/Derrick action in every chapter. As much as I wish I could make that happen, the story would be way too short. I know you guys waited for over a month and I guess what I gave you wasn't satisfactory enough. There was a reason I made the last chapter Massie/Cam. I wanted to develop their relationship for future reasons that you guys should find out soon.

Also, I am super super super sorry for the long wait I put you guys through. I guess time just sort of slipped away from me. Hopefully, now that I'm back from camp and school's started, I can get back to the regular updating schedule which was about once a week.

And that concludes the novel-like author's note I just wrote. I want to thank everyone for continuous support for this story. I'm so grateful to have faithful readers like you guys!

::

**Colorblind**

::

Massie woke up with the sun shine burning through her eyelids

She stretched and opened her eyes a crack, expecting to see the familiar seashore painting hung up across her bed in her room. Instead, she was looking at an open closet overflowing with male shorts and t-shirts.

"What the hell?" She wondered out loud to herself groggily. She was most definitely _not_ in her room.

Quickly, Massie lifted up the sheets, saw that she was still wearing the same clothes from last night, and instantly breathed out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, the memories from last night flooded her empty mind.

Her and Cam.

On the beach.

Her crying and yelling.

His warm arms around her.

Him taking her back to his house for warm coffee.

Her passing out on the couch.

Him carrying her up to his bed.

It was all coming back to her now, filling her mind like a dream. Massie didn't mind though. She relished in the thought of Cam's warm arms around her. This was truly a dream come true.

There was a sudden knock on the door.

"Come in," Massie replied, surprised at the sudden burst of noise.

The door creaked open and there he was, standing in only a pair of basketball shorts that hung loosely around his hips. His dirty blonde hair was still wet from the shower. Massie tried not to flush at the sight of his amazing body.

"Morning. Sleep well?" Cam asked, leaning against the doorframe, smirking at the ridiculous look on Massie's face.

"I did. And you?" _Stay calm_, Massie scolded herself internally. Yet, her heart beat was still frantically pounding within her chest. She swore Cam could hear it all the way across the room.

"Well," Cam tapped his chin. "My neck's a little stiff from the couch, but other than that, I slept fine."

Massie rolled her eyes. "Always a gentleman. I'm sorry I exiled you to the couch."

Cam chuckled. "Josh saw me sleeping in the living room and nearly screamed like a little girl. It was quite the scene."

"Shit!" Massie yelled, suddenly feeling scared. "I forgot you had a roommate! He didn't…did he see…" Massie cast her eyes down in embarrassment.

"No. Josh didn't see anything. And even if he did, he wouldn't say anything. He's a good person." Cam smirked at Massie's outburst.

Massie exhaled. "Okay. And thank you. I didn't mean to cause any trouble…"

"You would think that with all the guest houses Alicia owns, there would be enough to give each of us our own," Cam responded light-heartedly. "And you don't need to thank me. This is what friends do."

Massie forced a smile upon her face, but her mood nose-dived as she suddenly remembered that she had to get back to her house soon; the house that she so unwillingly shared with Derrick.

"I'm glad we're friends, Cam."

Something winkled in Cam's two-toned eyes. "Me too."

But even if her relationship with Cam was escalating, her relationship with Derrick was sliding slowly downwards to an endless black-pit of misery. She just wished he would leave her alone. Massie threw the covers off; she felt as if they were suffocating her. Quickly, Massie breezed through the doorway, squeezing past Cam. She couldn't take it anymore. Every time she was happy, Derrick would pop into her mind and ruin her mood infinitely.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Cam questioned from behind her.

Massie kept walking. "I've got some things I need to think about-

"Massie, stop! Where are you going?"

Casting an apologetic glance back, Massie pushed through the door and left.

::

"Massie, are you okay?" Alicia questioned as the two girls sat on the beach. They were sipping lemonade spiked with vodka and it was making Massie feel more and more light-headed by the minute. The sun was pelting them with wave after wave of mid-summer heat and Massie felt a small bead of sweat trickle down from the base of her neck to the small of her back.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?" Massie eyed her friend confusedly. Screams of excitement echoed from where Claire, Dylan, and Kristen were running around in the ocean getting splashed by the boys. This was supposed to be a happy time, yet Massie didn't feel all the happy.

Alicia took a large drink of her lemonade, captured an ice cube in her mouth, and crunched on it noisily. "You've seemed a little distant ever since that drunken phone call I got from you last night about leaving."

"Alicia." Massie sighed. "I wasn't drunk."

Alicia's glass cup met the sand with a muted thud. "What do you mean you weren't drunk?"

"I mean that I was sober when I called you and I meant what I said."

There was an awkward silence between the two friends as they both watched the rest of their group running around and laughing in the ocean. Cam was kicking the salty ocean water at Claire, but Massie felt the sting of the blow instead. She wanted Cam. She wanted Cam to want her. But ever since her hasty departure from his room this morning, she doubted that would ever happen again.

"Massie," Alicia finally spoke. "I never meant for Derrick to do all those things to you-

"It wasn't your fault-

"I feel like it is-

"Alicia, I'll be _fine_." Saying it was one thing, but believing it was a whole other world. And right now, Massie didn't even know if the words coming out of her mouth were even remotely close to the truth.

Alicia gave Massie a skeptical glare. "I know you, Massie. I've known you for five years. You're not fine and don't try to hide it because it's written plainly on your face."

Massie sighed again. She just couldn't expel any of this bad mood from within her. "I just want to go home, you know?"

"Don't start with me-

"I have a good reason for it though-

"Massie Block, you are not fucking going anywhere until I say so, okay?"

Massie didn't really want to respond to Alicia. The wanting to leave would always be inside of her until she actually left. She was just so close to getting inside of her car and pressing on the gas until she drove over the side of the Earth.

She hated seeing Derrick everyday. It was as if she was afraid of him. But she wasn't; it was just the sight of him that made her want to scream.

Massie kept her eyes trained on the people in the water.

Suddenly, Cam looked up and met her eyes. Smiling, he walked over to her. Alicia nudged Massie with her elbow, and Massie actually smiled back at Cam.

"Massie," Cam breathed. "Come join us. You too, Alicia."

Alicia shook her head. "Getting a tan over here." As if she needed to be anymore tan. "Massie, go join him. Have some fun and loosen up. You're acting like an old grandma over here." Alicia winked in Massie's direction and Massie shot an angry glare back.

Massie leaned closer to Alicia. "What the hell are you doing?" She whispered through the corner of her mouth, trying to smile at Cam at the same time.

Alicia shrugged. "Just helping a friend."

"Well I don't need your help."

Alicia pulled her sunglasses down so she could peer over them at Massie with her big brown eyes. "Massie, trust me. You haven't had a boyfriend since... since... since never."

Massie tensed. "You very well know the reason to that."

"Oh come on, Mass," Alicia groaned. "You're one _hot_ chick. No need to be all insecure now. Go out there and have some fun, babe."

"Fine," Massie finally agreed, all the insecure thoughts of Derrick and her past flying away from her head. Cam held out his hand, and Massie took it, allowing him to pull her up quickly. She dusted the sand off of her swimsuit bottoms and followed Cam to the ocean.

She was going to have a good time, and nothing was going to stop her.

"Have you ever surfed before?" Cam asked her when they reached the edge of the water. The cool ocean tickled Massie's toes as she and Cam stood by his surf board.

Massie shook her head, giggling at the thought of herself falling face first from a surf board. "I don't exactly live near a beach."

"Well, there's always a time for firsts."

"Uh, no." Massie stopped Cam as he reached down to pick up his board. "I don't think so."

Cam smiled at her. _That damn irresistible smile_. "You never know until you try."

"No."

"Yes." Cam nudged the board closer to Massie with his toe. "Do it."

Massie shook her head quickly, her ponytail hitting her cheek softly. "No, Cam! I can't surf!"

"Just this once. Please?"

"No! Fuck no! I am not getting on that surf board." Massie squealed as Cam picked up his board. He pushed it towards Massie and she was forced to catch it.

"Come on. It'll be fun."

"No." Massie crossed her arms. "I am not going to embarrass myself in front of everyone."

Cam chuckled. "I'll guide you the whole time."

Massie flushed a little at that thought, but quickly composed herself. "This is the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"Trust me. It'll be worth it."

"Okay. But if I fall, I'm taking you with me."

"Good thing the board can only hold one person at a time." Cam smirked and handed the ankle strap to Massie.

"Cameron Fisher! You're not coming with me?"

Cam laughed and shook his head. "Nope. There's only one board, and it's for you."

Massie groaned. "Hpw the hell are you going to guide me then?"

"I'll just talk to you from the beach." Cam offered Massie the ankle strap again.

Massie took the wet piece of fabric attached to the board and looked at it strangely. "What the hell is this?"

"This," Cam said, pointing to the black string. "This is your life line. If you fall off the board, it will stay attached to you with this. You don't have it on and you'll lose the board to the ocean within seconds."

"Oh, okay." Massie bent down and strapped the ankle strap around her ankle. She then stood up and brushed the few pieces of wavy hair that fell from her ponytail away from her face. She met Cam's eyes and there was a look of such want in them that Massie had never seen before. Her face grew warm as she cast her eyes away from Cam's and looked out at the ocean. The waves were big today.

"I'm ready," she announced quietly.

Cam nodded. "You lie down on your belly and paddle out to the ocean with your arms. Once you're in a good spot, wait for a good wave. It'll all be your own judgment, but your instincts will kick in soon enough. Once you see the perfect wave, stand up on your feet with your hands still on the board, your right foot in front of your left. Then, once you've got your balance, you call stand fully upright and surf back here."

Massie frowned, absorbing all the information Cam was telling him. "What if I fall?"

"If you fall, you'll just drink in a whole lot of salt water," Cam smiled.

Massie smacked him in the arm playfully. She grabbed the surfboard, carried it into the water, and laid down on it. She began to paddle out slowly, admiring the view of the horizon in front of her.

The sun was glittering off the ocean perfectly.

Everything was peaceful.

Everything was calm.

She could do this all day. It was like she had her own secret little world out in the middle of the ocean. She felt warm, and it was a good warmth. One she hadn't felt in a long time.

So Massie paddled.

And paddled.

And paddled.

"Massie, stop!" Cam yelled from the shore, causing her to jump and almost topple off the board.

Massie snapped out of her trance quickly and turned her head around. "What?"

"Don't paddle out too far. It gets dangerous."

"Okay!" Massie called back. She stopped paddling and looked around for the perfect wave. There was one approaching in around twenty seconds so she braced herself for the impact.

Her muscles tightened and she closed her eyes.

The water lifted her board quickly.

Her feet moved to their own accord, pushing her body upwards. Massie opened her eyes. She was doing it. She was surfing. Cam clapped loudly from the shore. The sun was shining brilliantly from above. Life couldn't get any better.

"Yes!" She cried in joy. Massie felt like she was floating. She smiled genuinely.

"Good job, Massie!" Cam called.

Massie gave him a thumbs up just before plummeting into the cold ocean below, getting a mouthful of salt.

The waves tossed and turned her body, twisting her wildly. She couldn't see anything. She couldn't move. The undertow was so strong that it felt like hands were pulling her by the ankles, deeper and deeper. The water was rushing through her ears, into her nose, and filled her mouth. Massie tried to claw her way up, but she was too weak. The tumultuous roar of the ocean thundered through her brain. Her lungs were screaming for air. She was going to die. Blackness threatened to overcome her.

Her limp body would be pushed upward, and she would open her mouth to gulp in the air, but the water would always swallow her back in before she had time to react. It happened over and over again. The ocean was taunting her.

_Look, _it said. _I can give you air, but I won't let you breathe it in._

The ocean flipped her one last time before finally releasing her into the world above. Massie gasped for breath, but she couldn't breathe. Why couldn't she breathe? Her surf board was long gone, detached from her ankle. Everything was gone.

Why did this always happen to her?

Her life would be perfect, and then she would come crashing down.

Massie closed her eyes; she heard anxious voices coming towards her.

"Are you okay? Massie, fucking look at me! How long was she under?" It was Alicia.

"She was under for a while." Cam spoke sadly. "I think around five minutes."

"Massie! Breathe Massie, you're okay now. Breathe." It was Dylan.

"Omigod! Talk to us Massie. Are you okay?" Claire was yelling her right ear.

"Guys, give her some space." Kristen was calming in her left.

Suddenly, everyone grew quiet.

A pair of warm hands grabbed her by the armpits and dragged her onto the rough sand. Then, a pair of soft lips pressed against her mouth, blowing sweet air into her lungs. There was a rhythmic pressure on her chest, pushing, and then releasing. The air around her was filled with frantic talking and worry. Massie just wanted it all to go away; to leave her alone.

The water came out with loud coughs, dribbling from her mouth and down her chin. She coughed up water. Then salt. Then nothing. There was nothing left inside of her except the bitter aftertaste of the ocean. She could breathe again and she gulped in the air greedily.

She opened her eyes a crack.

A brown-haired angel had saved her.

::

The blanket was hot. It was stuffy and she was sweating.

Massie cracked her eyes open. Her mouth was dry, her eyes were sore, her body was limp.

"Massie, you're up." Two colored eyes bore into hers.

Cam had come to see her. Massie smiled, but it hurt. Her lips were chapped and her face was tired.

"Cam." She croaked. Her voice was ldry and wispy, like smoke. Her throat felt like she was swallowing sandpaper. She couldn't talk.

A cup instantly appeared in front of her. It moved to her lips gently and its sweet contents poured inside of her mouth. The cold liquid slid down her throat painfully, but Massie drank it hungrily anyway.

"Thanks," she murmured when she finally regained her voice.

"No problem," Cam replied.

Massie's eyes fluttered up. He was sitting on her bed, watching her sadly. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn't know what to say.

"Are you okay?" He asked, leaning in closer. Massie could smell him, an enticing blend of sandalwood and ocean air. "Massie, answer me. Are you okay?"

She inhaled deeply and nodded. "I'm sorry I lost your surfboard."

"What happened out there was scary, Massie. I'm worried about _you_, not some stupid surfboard."

"I know."

"I shouldn't have made you do that."

"Cam," Massie warned. "Stop blaming yourself. I was the one who agreed to do it. It's not your fault, okay?"

He sighed, his warm breath washing over Massie in a wave. "I was so worried about you."

"I'm sorry."

"Massie." His voice was so soft and sad. "You almost died out there. Do you know how scared I was?"

Massie shook her head. "I was scared to."

"And then when you were on the sand, and you weren't breathing. Oh god. I didn't think I would ever be there to witness someone so close to death."

"Okay, Cam." Massie sighed.

"Massie-

"Cam, I don't want to talk about this. Not now, not ever. It's something I'd like to forget. I'm tired."

The bed shifted. "Sure. No problem." He got up to leave.

Massie was tired. She was too tired. She was so tired she didn't even want to talk to Cam. But she didn't want him to leave. She would never want that. Even if she couldn't talk to Cam, she wanted to feel him there. "Don't leave."

Cam hesitated a moment. Then, he sat down on the bed next to her, covering her hand with his. Massie smiled and turned her hand up, intertwining their fingers.

"Even if we've only known each other for a little bit, I feel like I've known you a lifetime," she spoke, mostly to herself.

"That's the crazy thing about us," he whispered. He brushed his hand over her forehead, pushing back her hair. Then, he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead that felt like a whisper rather than a physical thing. But it still made her shiver and her insides all warm.

::

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same."

"I live here."

"She wants me here."

"Get the fuck out."

"Calm down, dude."

"I said get the fuck out!"

Massie's eyes shot open and she sat up frantically.

"What the hell is going on?" She screamed. Cam was standing by her bed tensely while Derrick was standing in the doorway angrily. Their facial expressions were far from calm. "Guys, calm down. Please don't fight."

"Explain to me," Derrick pointed at Cam. "Why this _dude_ is here. _In your room_."

Massie blinked. "Why do I have to explain anything to you?"

"Why is he here?" Derrick asked, completely ignoring Massie's question. "Why the fuck is he here?"

Massie rolled out of bed and stood next to Cam. "Why does he being here bother you so much?"

Derrick rolled his eyes. "He must be crazy or something, wanting to be in the same room as you."

Cam frowned. "Okay guys, whatever. Talk about me like I'm not here."

Neither of the two glanced at Cam.

"I come home to check on how you were doing and I see this pervert here with his arms all around you and his body pressed all up against yours. God, it was disgusting."

Massie blushed. "Why were you checking up on me?"

"Because I haven't fucking seen you in like two days! I was just making sure you weren't dead or something."

"Thoughtful," Massie sneered.

Cam tapped her arm nervously. "I don't like where this is going, Massie," he whispered quietly.

Massie turned to Cam and smiled, instantly forgetting that Derrick was watching them. "Don't worry. I've got this under control. You should go. I'll meet up with you later?"

Cam nodded and placed a small kiss on her cheek before walking past Derrick, but not before bumping his shoulder roughly first.

"Douche," Derrick muttered under his breath.

Massie crossed her arms. "You really shouldn't call your friends mean words like that. It could really deduct the low number of friends you currently have."

"Ha ha," Derrick mocked. "That was a funny one, Block. You're fucking hilarious. I just can't wait to see how your sense of humor will be like when you're walking around, knocked up with his child."

Massie gasped audibly and swallowed. "You don't know anything about what's going on with me and Cam."

Derrick smirked. "I know you two are pretty close from the way he was spooning you."

"Haven't you learned to knock-

"Haven't you learned to be a little more smart-

"You're impossible-

"You're easy-

"Shut up!"

"Massie Massie Massie." Derrick shook his head dramatically. "Don't you know that the only thing us guys want is sex?"

Massie turned around from Derrick and began to make her bed. "Cam's different."

"And you can tell that from the two months you've been friends with him, right? God, you are so blind. He just wants your sex, and then he'll leave."

"You're not Cam. You wouldn't know a thing."

"Cam and I are friends, dumbass. Friends talk to each other."

Massie remained silent. Derrick was really getting on her nerves and she wasn't going to be able to control her anger any longer. She roughly yanked her blanket back into place and smoothed it down with her hand.

"I see that I've proved you wrong."

Massie whipped around to face Derrick, her eyes blazing. "You can't say all that shit about Cam because it's not true. He likes me for who I am. He _understands_ me. You're just jealous that someone actually wants me."

"I don't understand how Cam would want you... no wait. I don't understand how any _guy_ would want you."

Massie smirked. "That's not what you said before you kissed me last night."

Derrick froze. His jaw visibly tensed and he glared at Massie with the fiercest and meanest glare she had ever witnessed. But she kept her ground because she knew that she had struck a nerve, and she was damn proud of it. It was about time she had the upperhand.

"Yeah, that's right. You _kissed_ me."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"You kissed me-

"You're crazy-

"You're lips on mine-

"You're high-

"You initiated-

"You're fucking drunk. You're messed up. You should be in an asylum!"

"You like me-

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Derrick growled loudly.

"What?" Massie asked innocently, taking a step closer to him. "Too scared to admit that you have feelings for someone as _ugly_ as me? Do I embarrass you, Derrick? Well you don't have anything to worry about because guess what? I fucking hate you! That's right. I f-u-c-k-i-n-g hate you." Massie didn't care that she was behaving like a child. It felt good to be rubbing her power in Derrick's pathetic face. The look in his eyes was pure gold to Massie. His shock was just feeding her the courage to keep on going.

Derrick took a step backwards. "You go on and keep telling yourself this shit, even when you know it's not true. That's how you become crazy. You keep telling yourself lies."

"Oh save that bullshit, Derrick. Last night you were crying and screaming at me, telling me that no one understood you. And then you kissed me. _You _kissed _me_."

"You're lying."

"Don't deny it-

"I'm not. You're making it up-

"How much do you want to bet-

"What's it to you anyway?"

Massie smirked. "It means nothing to me. I hate you, and even if you were the last man alive, I wouldn't dare come anywhere near you."

"You hate me." Derrick's words came out more as a statement than a question.

Massie nodded and skipped around her room, pulling on the corners of her bed until it was perfectly smooth. "That's right, Derrick Harrington. I fucking hate your guts."

Derrick opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped halfway and just shook his head.

"What?" Massie asked, suddenly extremely curious.

"Nothing," he mumbled, turning around to leave.

"If you have something to say, just say it," Massie called after him.

Derrick appeared back in her doorway, a somber expression on his face. "You said you hate me."

"Yeah I did."

"You are so stupid."

Massie tilted her head to one side in confusion. "How so?"

"I saved your life."

Massie stopped moving. Her heart dropped. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I was the one who pulled you out of the water and saved your fucking life, and now that I think about it, I don't think you were worth saving."

And with that, Derrick walked out of her room, slamming the door behind him.


	8. Echo

**Note: **Sorry for the long wait! My computer crashed and I lost all my documents! Hope this chapter makes up for it (I've been saying that a lot, haven't I?)

**Song: **Echo - Jason Walker

::

**Colorblind**

::

Massie woke up with an emptiness gnawing at her insides. She hated that feeling; like she had done something terrible wrong. Her head pounded and her eyes were glued together by the unshed tears of last night. She swallowed, and it felt like swallowing sandpaper, rough and dry. Her mouth tasted like salt and low tide; there were small granules of sand in her mouth that rubbed uncomfortably against her teeth. The events of the night before flooded her mind quickly, almost sending a blackness over her eyes.

_Derrick had saved her. _

_ His lips were warm and soft._

_ The sweet air that blew from his mouth and into her lungs._

_ He saved her. _

_ He hated her. _

_ She hated him._

Her mind was being pulled in a million different directions and Massie didn't know where to go. She was scared, to say the least. She was scared to see Derrick this morning. She was scared to talk to him. She was even scared of being in the same house as him, but it was inevitable. They were going to have to confront each other sooner than later, and Massie prayed it would be later.

Slowly, Massie crawled out of bed, her joints cracking and her muscles aching. She walked to her closet and pulled out a simple outfit before heading to the shower.

Clicked the door shut silently, Massie took a good look at herself. The right side of her cheek had been scraped raw by the rough sand of the ocean. There were sand and salt crystals littering her hair. Her eyes were muddy and under them were heavy, dark circles. She touched her cheek softly and a stinging pain shot through her face. Massie hissed and pulled back quickly. This is _not _what she came to California for.

Sighing, she turned on the shower to the hottest setting and sat on the toilet, waiting for the water to turn hot.

Finally, the steam began to fill the room and Massie stepped under the burning waterfall. The hot water pelted against her back, but it was soothing - a distraction. Her mind wandered to her younger days when she would sit under the rain, and the asphalt would be so hot that steam would rise from it. Her legs would be warm, but her shoulders would be cold from the rain. It was a wonderful feeling, being hot and cold at the same time, but as Massie experienced the two temperatures now, she couldn't help but feel a little nauseous.

Massie shampooed her hair slowly, making sure all the sand and salt was removed. The shower started smelling like her favorite coconut shampoo, and Massie inhaled deeply.

She took her time in the shower because it was her only time alone, a gap between seeing Derrick and seeing her friends. It seems as if it was a vacation within a vacation.

The water began to grow cold and Massie reluctantly got out, wrapping a fluffy white towel around her body.

The next few seconds happened in a blur.

The door creaked open and Massie screamed. She tried to push it closed, instead pushing the warm arm of a human and sending them crashing into the full-body mirror hanging on the wall. The piercing sound of a broken mirror filled the small space and a rain of shimmering glass flew through the air and crashed to the ground. Reflexively, Massie grabbed for the arm again, but missed, and sent herself crumpling to the floor, but not before hitting her head on the ledge of the bathtub.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Massie regained her senses and opened her eyes, suddenly realizing that she was practically lying on top of another person, and all she was wearing was a skimpy towel. She blushed furiously and rolled upright, groaning as a few shards of glass nipped at her back.

Her eyes scanned the scene slowly, and landed on the face of Derrick. He was clutching his hand to his body, a pained expression painted on his face.

"Oh my god," Massie choked.

Derrick sat up and stared at her coldly. "Look at what you did."

A hot, blinding anger shot through Massie like an unstoppable rocket. She stood up, disgusted, and sat on the ledge of the tub so she wouldn't be too close to _his_ body. "What I did?" She spat. "You were the one that came barging into the bathroom unannounced!"

"You should learn to lock the door then!" Derrick fired back.

Massie huffed in disbelief. "You're seriously blaming this on me? You're out of your mind!"

"I live in this fucking house too, you selfish bitch!" Derrick groaned as he tried to stand up with one hand.

"It's called knocking on the door, dumbass." Massie's cheeks turned hot with anger. He had no right coming in here and telling her it was all her fault.

"This wouldn't have happened if you didn't push me straight into a fucking mirror!" Derrick growled as he finally managed to stand on two legs, avoiding the big pieces of glass that threatened his bare feet.

"You're an ass, Derrick."

"I'm the ass that saved your life-

"I didn't ask you to-

"As if I wanted to save you in the first place-

"Why didn't you just leave me there to die?"

"I should have!"

Massie didn't respond. She stood there, breathing heavily, watching Derrick with a glare so full of hatred it should have burned his head off. Her mind whirred again, putting her shower to no use. No longer was she relaxed, but even angrier than she was before.

"If you were dead, I would have this house to myself, and this whole bathroom shit wouldn't have happened."

Massie clenched her hands into fists, but she wasn't going to punch Derrick. Not yet, at least. He wasn't going to get to her anymore, she would make sure of that. Slowly, she released her hands and took a couple of deep breaths.

"Let me see your hand."

Derrick looked at her weirdly. "What?"

"I said let me see your hand!"

"I don't need your fucking help. Don't feel like you need to return the favor just because I saved you."

Massie sighed. "At least let me make sure you're not going to need to go to the hospital."

"Why the fuck would I need to go to the hospital?"

Massie took a step closer and pointed her finger at Derrick. "Stop. Acting. Like. A. Cocky. Prick. And. Show. Me. Your. Fucking. Hand."

Derrick turned his hand cautiously, revealing a giant shard of glass stuck right in the middle of his palm. Blood was dripping off of it and onto the floor. Massie gasped and took a step back.

"That looks bad."

"It's not-

"You don't have to act tough. I've seen you cry already."

That shut Derrick up. He mumbled something to himself and held his hand out further for Massie to see.

She took his hand lightly in hers and their contact sent a shiver up Massie's spine. She took that as a bad sign and immediately released his hand to go get a first aid kit from the cabinet. Grabbing a band-aid, tweezers, and some disinfectant, Massie walked back to a very annoyed Derrick.

"Hold still, this might hurt a little," Massie warned as she held the tweezer over the glass with shaking hands.

"If your hand is going to keep shaking like that, I'd rather do it myself."

Massie took in a deep breath and focused on the sole purpose of taking the glass out. She didn't care that she was going to have to touch Derrick's hand and see his blood. For now, she was just here to help him.

Quickly, Massie pulled out the glass, rubbed the disinfectant on his wound, and bandaged his hand. "It doesn't seem too deep. Just remember to change the bandage and you won't have to get stitches."

Derrick retracted his hand quickly. "Who made you my nurse?"

Massie didn't speak. Who _did_ make her his nurse? No one told her she had to help him. In fact, she didn't even tell herself she should help him. Instead, she wanted to. It was as if seeing Derrick in pain was almost painful for Massie.

"I guess I did," Massie squeaked.

Derrick rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, leaving Massie in the bathroom all alone. She ran a shaky hand through her hair and leaned back against the cool wall, sinking down onto the crunching glass littered tile, her own words echoing through her head without recognition.


	9. Punch

**AN: **So it's official... I suck at updating. Erm, I know that I keep saying I'll update quicker but honestly, school has pretty much taken over my life. But hopefully I can get some updates in soon because I have a few breaks coming up. And sorry to all about the long wait for Kiss My Sass. Juggling two stories was way too much for me to handle and I didn't realize that until too late. But look out for a Kiss My Sass chapter coming your way soon. I hope you guys didn't give up on that story because I have some good stuff planned!

::

**Colorblind**

::

"Massie, are you okay?" Cam asked her at breakfast the next morning.

Massie swallowed her coffee back in a loud gulp and turned to Cam, a somber expression on her face. "Can I ask you something?"

Cam put down his bagel. "Sure. Ask away."

Massie sighed. She didn't know how to gather up all the jumbling thoughts in her head and form them into one cohesive sentence. Her inner ramblings were - to say the least - a mess. Finally, she found the words closest to what she was feeling, and they slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"What am I doing here?"

Cam stared at her, his expression confused. Then he blinked once, twice, and three times, until the confusion in his eyes turned into a smile. "Massie, that question was retarded."

"Cam," Massie sighed, disappointment washing over her even though she knew Cam wouldn't understand. "I'm being serious here. _Why_ am I here?"

"Well..." Cam pondered for a moment, and then a brightness lit up his face. "You're here because you want to spend more time with your best friends. It's summer vacation before Junior year, and you're gonna kill it."

Massie's heart fluttered in her chest, reminding her of her killer crush on Cam last year. There were still remnants of it within her now, and seeing him in all his six-foot, tan and toned glory, Massie couldn't help but fall just a little harder.

Cam was such a gentleman. He was all kinds of amazing, and kind, and caring - the total opposite of Derrick. Cam made Massie feel wanted and special because whenever he talked to her, his eyes made her feel like the only person in the world. Massie was happy to be around Cam, even if he made her palms sweat and her cheeks red.

"Massie?" Cam asked, waving a fork in front of her eyes.

Massie snapped back from her daydream, back into Alicia's ultra-sleek kitchen, and her blush payed a visit full force.

"Massie?" Cam asked again. "You okay? You seemed a little spacey."

"Sorry." Massie shook her head. "Just have a lot on my mind, I guess."

Cam set down his fork on his now empty plate. "If you want, we could take a walk to... you know... clear your head and stuff."

"Cam," Massie said, looking at him incredulously. "I'm up at 7:30 eating breakfast with you already. I am _not_ going to take a walk with you. It's too damn early."

Cam laughed heartily. "It's actually not that early if you think about it."

"I have never woken up before 12 during summer vacation before, and I've never eaten breakfast before that time either."

"Eating at 12:30 isn't breakfast anymore."

Massie huffed and crossed her arms, pushing away her uneaten toast. "Whatever, Mr. Know-It-All."

Cam turned her face with his hand so that she was looking at his straight in the eyes. "Hey," he whispered softly. "I meant it as a joke."

Massie immediately softened. "It sounded like you were making fun of me."

"I would _never_ make fun of you." Cam frowned, but instantly smiled again. "I'm glad I could share your first pre-noon breakfast with you."

Almost growing warm immediately at the sound of Cam's words, Massie smiled and her appetite came back again. She bit into her toast, her whole body buzzing with happiness. "Yeah, who would've thought that _the_ Cam Fisher has to teach Massie Block that eating after 12 isn't considered breakfast anymore."

Cam smiled and patted her bare knee, a gesture obviously meant to be friendly, but Massie took it as so much more. To her, his simple touch meant comfort and acceptance. And if she weren't so happy at that moment, tears would've pricked her eyes because she finally felt accepted by a boy.

"Oh!" Massie exclaimed. "I forgot to apologize for Derrick's behavior two nights ago. What he did to you was totally uncalled for, not to mention extremely rude."

Cam waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. It was just a misunderstanding."

"I don't want to be the reason for destroying a friendship."

"Massie, Derrick and I are cool. We worked it out yesterday. And I also talked to him about the way he was treating you."

Massie froze. "Oh. Okay." She felt like choking.

"Yeah. Everything should be fine now. He shouldn't bother you anymore."

"Thanks," Massie sighed. If only he knew that her life just got a hell of a lot more complicated.

::

Massie ended up taking a walk, but Cam didn't come with her. She needed to take this one on her own and have some reflection time.

She strolled through the warm sand of the beach, feeling the small sand granules rub together between her toes. The small crash of the waves upon the beach did not sound inviting like it usually did. Blurred memories of her underwater adventure drifted through her mind, and Massie shuddered. She took a few steps away from the water, just in case it decided to reach out a salty hand and pull her in again.

Then she remembered the way Derrick's lips felt against hers. Even if he was only performing CPR, it was like a kiss, except unintentional. Massie didn't like the direction her mind was drifting towards, but it was inevitable. She was going to have to think about her semi-kiss with Derrick someday - sooner or later - and that meant now.

He saved her life.

It was a still a strange concept to her. Out of all the people witnessing that day, Derrick was the one the stepped forward and saved her. Maybe he was a licensed CPR professional or something, but that didn't seem like him. Everyone was out of their comfort zones that day. Especially Massie. The whole time she was recovering, she didn't feel like it was she herself, lying under the suffocating blankets, breathing in the suffocating air.

Massie shook her head. She was not to think about those dark thoughts anymore. From now on, she was only going to be happy, no matter how hard it be. She was going to reflect on how she felt and turn it all around for the better.

Though there wasn't much to reflect upon, Massie felt a heavy weight lingering over her shoulders. It felt like she was being angry for all the wrong reasons, and feeling frustrated for all the wrong things. It was deep, gnawing feeling that she was doing something terribly wrong.

But Massie couldn't put her finger on it. What could have possibly made her feel so guilty? She hasn't killed anyone, or lied to anyone... but she has screamed terrible words to a certain terrible someone.

Could it be? This uncomfortable feeling was her guilt towards treating Derrick like shit? As if he didn't feel the same way about her. Massie just didn't understand why she had to be such a rational person. She knew that no one deserved her hate, but if there was someone out there that did, Derrick was the closest possibility.

Yet somehow, it just felt wrong to be angry with him. It felt... strange, as if he didn't deserve her anger, and that she should be angry with herself.

Massie didn't like this feeling. But she couldn't shake it.

"Hey!"

Massie whipped her head back, pulling out of her inner ramblings quickly, and plastering a smile on her face. Alicia was running towards her in 6-inch espadrilles, her long black hair billowing gracefully in the breeze.

"Alicia! What's up?"

Alicia caught up to Massie, out of breath. "How... are... you?" She breathed?

Massie laughed. "I'm fine. What's with the rush?"

"You disappeared for like two days!" Alicia's eyes widened with worry. "The girls and I have been worried sick. Claire and Kristen went into town to look for you, and Dyl went to the south part of the beach."

"Alicia!" Massie gasped. "I did not mean to cause so much trouble! Oh my god, I am so sorry! I just needed some time alone... I didn't mean for this..."

Alicia smiled and placed a comforting hand on Massie's shoulder. "It's good, Mass. We were just looking out for out best friend."

Massie's smile grew infinitely brighter as she pulled Alicia into a tight hug as all the dim thoughts that clouded her mind cleared away and the sun finally shone through.

::

"Thanks for the awesome day." Massie crashed through the front door with her hands full of bags as she tried to wave to her friends with her full hands.

"You deserve it." Dylan winked.

"We should have outings like this more often," Kristen giggled.

Alicia flipped her hair out of her eyes, which were bright and filled with excitement. "We have the whole summer for that, girls. Now say bye to Massie. All that shopping has gotten her tired and saggy."

Massie gasped. "I am _not_ saggy."

"The bags under your eyes say otherwise." Alicia smirked and led the girls away.

But Claire lingered behind. She smiled tightly and took a step closer to Massie. "If you need anything, _anything_, know that I'll be here for you. Just give me a call."

"Claire..." Massie was speechless. This was so sudden. "Thank you."

"I know that Derrick's been giving you trouble and I just want you to know that I - that the girls and I have your back."

Massie dropped her bags and pulled Claire into a tight hug. "You're amazing."

"And so are you. Remember that, okay?"

"You are truly the best friend I've ever had."

Massie could feel Claire's smile, even if she couldn't see it. "Best friends don't let each other hurt. And I'm not going to let you hurt, Massie.

Claire pulled away slowly. "Love ya."

"Love you more," Massie replied, a laugh bubbling against her lips.

Claire flashed her a peace sign and then disappeared into the darkness after the rest of the girls.

Massie felt warm as she closed the door shut softly. She was so lucky to have friends like Claire. They were literally one in a million.

Feeling as if she were walking on a cloud, Massie went upstairs and took a relaxing shower. The bathroom was filled with remnants of the accident the day prior, but Massie ignored them. All the scars didn't hurt as much when she pretended they weren't there.

After showering and changing into a comfortable pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt, Massie padded to her room and flipped on her iPod, picking one of her and the girls' favorite songs. The fast beat of the song Good Girls Go Bad flooded her room, putting Massie in an instant mood for dancing.

In the spur of the moment, Massie grabbed her hairbrush and began using it as a microphone. She danced around her room, jumping on her bed, whipping her wet hair, and just letting loose all of the tension from the past eleven days.

She was finally having fun. And not just fun that lasted for a few hours. This fun reached deep inside of her heart and filled her with the brilliance of the shining sun. Massie felt like she could take on the world. She had the four best of best friends by her side and they were going to conquer the world.

When the song finally ended, Massie was out of breath, but she was smiling. She set her hairbrush back down on her dresser and flopped down on her bad. The house was silent, just how she liked it. The echoes of her previous dance party still floated around her head and it was nice to know that they were all kept to herself.

Suddenly, a strange sound came from next door.

Massie sat up straight. She thought she was alone. She must've missed the sound of someone coming in while her music was blasting.

The strange sound came again, only louder. It sounded like someone crying.

Curious, Massie pressed her ear against the creamy wall. There was a lot of rustling and banging coming from Derrick's room, and then suddenly... that cry-like sound again. It was definitely female and it definitely didn't sound like she was happy.

All the blood drained from Massie's face. Was Derrick hurting a girl in his room? Unable to control herself, Massie sped over to Derrick's room and flung open the door.

The sight in front of her eyes was almost blinding.

Derrick had a girl pressed against the wall, his hands roaming all over her bare stomach; her shirt had ridden up to her chest. They were literally eating each other's faces and the girl was moaning like no other.

Massie cleared her throat. "Excuse me?"

Derrick whipped around, a deer-caught-in-headlights look on his face. The girl beneath him flushed deeply and yanked her shirt down, which didn't even do much considering it looked like she was wearing a napkin for a shirt.

"What the FUCK?" Derrick roared.

Massie backed away, her hands up. "Sorry to intrude... but it literally sounded like someone was dying over here."

The girl blushed even deeper and buried her head into Derrick's shoulder.

"No one's dying, as you can obviously see. Now get the fuck out."

"I wish I could, but the walls are thin. Even in my own room I can hear you guys getting it on like dogs."

Derrick grimaced. "You nosy bitch."

"As if I wanted to hear the dirty sounds of your pleasure!"

"You can get the hell out of this house-

"Where the fuck would I go-

"Anywhere but in my sight-

Massie seethed. "Fuck off. I don't take pleasure in seeing you either!"

Derrick moved away from the random girl and stepped closer to Massie. "You're embarrassing me in front of Olivia. I would like to you to leave this room, _now_." He turned back around and took the girl's hand. Even though his tone was calm, there was a significant undertone of threat. Massie chose to ignore it though, and decided to provoke Derrick a little further. Might as well finish what has already begun.

"So the slut has a name?"

Derrick dropped Olivia's hand, and turned to face Massie slowly. His eyes were burning. "What did you call her?"

Massie smirked. "I called her a slut."

Derrick clenched his fist. "You have no right-

"I know I don't even know her, but do you? You probably picked her up from a bar for an easy fuck! That's disgusting. Both of you are disgusting!"

"Are you kidding me right now?" Derrick's voice cracked up an octave. "You are a bitch, Massie Block. You think that everything I do is bad. Well guess what? I bet your precious Cam is hooking up with some chick in a bathroom stall right now, right where I left him. He _went_ with me to that bar where I picked up this _slut_ named Olivia. What are you gonna say now?"

Massie took a step closer. "Do you know what I'm going to say? Do you fucking know what I'm going to say, Derrick?"

"Spit it out!" Derrick threw his hands up, exasperated.

"Cam is a _totally _different person. You're rude, dumb, disgusting, and downright fucked up. Cam is sweet, kind, and smart. You two are two different people, so different that I don't even know ow you even became friends."

"Keep your disgusting fantasies to yourself."

"Only if you keep your bitches to yourself!"

Derrick's eyes flamed up again. "Do _not_ call her that! I fucking told you her name is Olivia and she's a fucking human for god's sake, you filthy bitch!"

Massie's anger flared. "Oh! OH! Okay! I see how it is! So this whore you picked up from the bar is so much more human than me that I can't call her a slut, but you can call me a filthy bitch? Wow, Derrick, I didn't realize I stood so low in your standards." Massie smiled sarcastically. "You don't seem to get anything, do you? You don't know the first thing about being a human!"

Suddenly, Olivia stood up. "I have had enough of this! You guys fight like an old fucking couple. And you," Olivia pointed at Massie. "You'll be more of a bitch than I'll ever be." Then the blonde haired girl stormed out of the house, carrying her six-inch heals in her left hand and her purse in her right.

Derrick and Massie did not speak until Olivia closed the door behind her.

"Look what you fucking did-

"I help you, that's what-

Derrick raised his voice over Massie's. "Do you always have to fucking ruin everything?" He slammed the door behind Massie and caged her in with his arms, pressing her against the door. "Haven't you realized that your friends only became your friends after you stopped being _so_ ugly? Haven't you realized that all your friends always try to do things your way because they feel _bad_ for you? Everyone here fucking feels bad for you! That's why you're even here in the first place."

Massie spat in Derrick's face. "You don't have a fucking clue!" She yelled. "Now get off me before I scream!"

But that only pushed Derrick to step closer. They were almost chest to chest. "Take a good hard look, Massie, because right now you're fucking blind! Those people you call friends don't care about your shit at all. They only feel bad for you because in truth, you have no friends."

"You're a fucking liar!"

Derrick shook his head. "Believe me. Alicia talks to Josh and he tells me everything. They're all super annoyed that they had to drag you along. You're just like an anchor to their party boat, weighing them down with your stupid problems that no one gives a fuck about."

Massie couldn't take it anymore. The blood had been boiling in her veins for _too_ long. In the tiny space she had, she reeled her fist back and punched Derrick straight in the nose. He screeched in pain, and staggered backwards, covering his throbbing nose. It wasn't a punch, more like a strong push, but it was enough to get him away from her.

"You fucking bitch!" He cried out.

Unable to think of anything, Massie flung the door open and ran to her room, locking her door just in case.

She had just dug her own grave.


	10. Okay

**AN: **Thanks for your amazing responses to the previous chapter. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as I do. It's a little different from the rest of them.

::

**Colorblind**

::

After punching Derrick in the nose, Massie locked herself in her room for a good two hours before she finally poked her head through the door. It wasn't right for her to be feeling so scared, but considering how unpredictable Derrick was, Massie would rather be safe than sorry. She had been internally preparing herself for the hell she was going to get when she saw Derrick again, biting her nails and tugging at her hair. She even paced back and forth in her room for a good half an hour before finally settling down and telling herslef she was being overdramatic.

Breathing in a deep breath, Massie opened the door and stepped out. But to her surprise, the house was empty - Derrick had gone out for a jog. Massie wrinkled her eyebrows; Derrick didn't make any sense to her. It was almost 9:30 at night, and he was out jogging. Then again, nothing he did ever made any sense to her.

Massie sighed; she was just going to have to prepare herself again when Derrick comes back later. For now, she had the whole house to herself, and she was going to take advantage of the few hours of alone time she had. Massie wasn't much of a drinker, but she could really use something to loosen her nerves. She walked over to the bar area by the kitchen and pulled open one of the cabinets, revealing rows and rows of expensive wines.

With her finger on her lips, Massie perused the vast collection of alcohol until she settled upon a deep red bottle that looked quite fancy. She never usually indulged herself in the materialistic things in life, and if she was going to do so, wine would be a good place to start.

Pulling out the brand new bottle, Massie felt a small smile curve upon her lips. She had never done anything this rebellious before, and considering she was only 16, she felt even more on edge. With steady hands, Massie found the bottle opener and removed the cork from the wine bottle with a satisfying pop. She then poured herself a half glass of the ruby red liquid and walked back over to the living room to watch some trashy television dramas.

As she fell down onto the soft couch, Massie instantly felt the tension of the previous hours drift away.

"Derrick who?" She giggled to herself as she pressed the cool glass to her lips. Just as she was about to open her mouth, the front door flew open.

Massie's eyes flickered to the figure standing in the doorway casually. She swallowed the sweet wine before speaking. "Good jog?"

Derrick stepped into the light, revealing to Massie that he was not wearing a shirt, and all the muscles of his tight body were displayed like an exhibit at a museum. A light sheen of sweat shone on his forehead and chest, making him appear as if he were glowing. Upon closer inspection, Massie noticed that his nose was slightly purple around the bridge, but it didn't seem that her punch did too much damage. Massie gulped and quickly took another sip of her drink, suddenly overcome with an unexpected wave of guilt.

"Stalking me now?" Derrick accused. The tension from there fight was still so obviously there, and he just made it worse by ignoring it.

Massie internally groaned. "You're the only person I know who jogs at night."

"I'm not like other people."

Massie scoffed, but her eyes flickered nervously to his face again. Maybe if he were more like other people, she wouldn't have punched him.

"See something you like?" Derrick smirked, pulling Massie out of her trance.

Massie looked into his eyes coldly. "You wish."

There was a pause, as if he was expecting Massie to say something more. But when she didn't, Derrick ran a hand through is messy hair. "Alicia told me to tell you there's a bonfire tonight on the beach at 10," he said awkwardly.

Without another word, Derrick threw his dirty shirt over the back of a dining chair and marched up the stairs.

::

"Cheeeers to the fricken weekend," Claire slurred as she stumbled around the fire, promptly landing in Cam's lap. A look passed between the two, and for a few seconds, Massie felt a pang of jealously, but it went away when Claire got up and proceeded to sit in Kemp's lap.

"Kuh-laire," Alicia groaned. "It's only Thursday."

Claire turned around in Kemp Hurley's lap and looked at Alicia, cocking her head sideways and blinked a few times to comprehend what the dark-haired beauty had just said. Suddenly, she smiled. "Everyday is a good day!"

The group all laughed and clapped when Chris Plovert raised his beer and said, "Amen to that! Someone get this girl another beer!"

Claire got up from Kemp's lap and reached into the cooler to pull out another beer. The ice had all melted and the bottles were covered with slimy condensation. Claire shook her wet hand. "This is nasty."

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Beer is beer."

Dylan smiled warmly and snuggled closer into Chris's side while Josh wrapped his arm around Alicia tightly. Kristen was in a deep conversation with Kemp while Claire - who had stopped sitting on people - was pulling at Cam's dark curly hair.

Massie suddenly felt alone, even though she was surrounded by the people she loved the most. She wished she could be more confident and tell Cam how she really felt. She wished she could be stronger and not be affected by Derrick so much. Massie took another gulp of her warm beer; it was her second one that night. But no matter how much she tried to drown away the hurtful feelings she kept getting, they just kept coming back.

"Harrington!" Kemp suddenly called out just as Derrick joined the group.

Massie's insides tightened as she watched a freshly showered Derrick walk into the circle. He sat down casually next to Josh and twisted open a bottle of beer, avoiding Massie's eye the whole time, making it harder for her to tell if he was still angry. Massie looked away into the black ocean and she wondered what it would be like to swim in it.

"Dude, what happened to your nose?" Josh asked. Massie's eyes suddenly flickered to them.

All of a sudden, Derrick glared at her, his brown eyes glowing from the light of the fire. "Massie punched me."

Massie's stomach dropped and she silently released a strangled breath. Derrick was _not _doing this to her. He wouldn't do this to her... not now.

Josh jolted backwards in shock. "What the hell?"

"It's a long story." Derrick rolled his eyes.

"That's... that's messed up, man."

Derrick rubbed his nose gently. "I don't wanna talk about it, kay?"

The look of shock was still written plainly on Josh's face. "But... oh man... I still can't believe it! Massie Block punched you?"

The crown fell silent, and Massie flushed ten shades of red. She could feel everyone's eyes on her - especially Cam's. They were looking at her with such a curiosity that it made her fidget in her seat.

"Drop it, man," Derrick warned.

Josh shook his head. "What could you have possibly done-

"I said fucking drop it!" Derrick growled as he slammed his beer bottle into the sand. "There is nothing to talk about here. It's none of your business."

"Oh, but I think it is," Cam piped in suddenly.

Massie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This night was not heading in a good direction.

"Get out of here, Fisher. This is not your fight." Derrick kicked a pile of sand at his feet, sending small granules into the fire.

Cam stood up and walked over to Derrick. "What did you do to her?"

Sensing a threat, Derrick stood up too. He was about two inches taller than Cam, and ten times more intimidating. "I didn't do anything. Stay out of it."

"Massie wouldn't punch anyone unless it was for self defense."

Derrick laughed darkly. "Then why don't you ask her yourself why she punched me."

"She's a good person and you're ruining her!" Cam yelled.

"You say that like you know her," Derrick countered sharply, crossing his arms.

Josh stood up and grabbed Derrick's shoulder roughly. "Man, calm down. We'll stay out of it, okay?"

Cam turned to Josh. "Don't you want to know why Massie punched him? In fact, don't you want to know how he's been treating Massie for the past week and a half?"

"Shut up!" Derrick pushed Cam, sending him stumbling backwards a little, but he was still standing.

"Hey everyone! Derrick has been treating Massie like shit for the past 12 days and they have to room together. Massie's told me everything and it sounds like she's getting abused. We should seriously call the cops of something."

Kristen gasped. Massie cast her eyes down, looking at the cool sand, wondering if it were possible to bury herself in it.

Kemp stood up now, along with Chris, and they each stood on one of Cam's sides.

"You're drunk, man." Kemp took hold of Cam's arm, but Cam shook him loose.

"You're abusing her, Harrington, and that can get you arrested," Cam threatened. "I will call the cops! I will put your ass in jail!"

Derrick simply smiled. "Go ahead and call them! I don't give a shit! But I'd like to point out that Massie was the one that punched me, not the other way around."

Cam lunged towards Derrick. "You dick!" He tried to reach for Derrick's shirt, but Kemp and Chris held him back. "I'm going to get you!"

A feeling of dread creeped over Massie, and she tried to stand up, but Kristen suddenly grabbed her arm.

"Don't," Kristen pleaded. "It's messy enough as it is."

Massie sighed. "I have to. I don't want to be the reason for this."

"Massie, is everything Cam saying true?"

Massie looked down at her best friend with sad eyes. She didn't know how to respond to the question, so she just looked away instead. Kristen released her with a sigh and she walked over to the two fighting guys.

"Stop it!" Massie yelled, trying to stand between the two of them.

They both ignored her.

"Oh look! Massie's here to join the party! Ask her yourself, Cam! Or are you too scared?" Derrick was furious now.

"You hurt her, didn't you? You said something that provoked her. To tell you the truth, I'm _happy_ she punched you. You deserve it."

Derrick scoffed. "I think you deserve her hatred more that I do. You're the one that's leading her on just to make Claire jealous!"

Massie froze.

Cam turned around and reached his hand out. "Massie, he's crazy."

"What did you say?" Massie asked Derrick shakily.

Derrick smiled triumphantly. "You heard me. Cam's using you to get back at Claire."

Massie's mouth went dry. She knew her relationship with Cam was too good to be true, but did it have to end this soon? "Is that true?"

Cam shook his head fervently. "He's lying Massie. He's drunk and he's just looking for a fight."

Without warning, Cam crushed his lips to Massie's. It took a few seconds for Massie to react, but when she did, it felt amazing. Cam's lips were sweet and gentle, and he tasted like warmth and longing. Massie reveled in the feel of his strong arms around her, and when they finally pulled away, she felt as if they were the only people on the beach. But then reality pushed its way in, and Massie stepped away from Cam.

Alicia's face wore a mask of shock, while Claire's wore one of anger. Dylan and Kristen avoided Massie's eyes.

Then, Massie's eyes fell on Derrick.

He shot Massie a disgusted look and walked away. But Massie noticed something else in Derrick's face. The light in his eyes were dimmer, almost as if he was betrayed.

Before Massie could do anything, Cam placed a hand on her cheek. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he pulled lightly on her hand and she sat back down. He wrapped a warm arm around Massie, and they continued to drink and have fun with their friends, as if the incident with Derrick never happened. Yet something in the atmosphere seemed wrong; tense and uncomfortable. But Massie didn't care about any of that at the moment; she couldn't help herself. Her mind kept wandering back to the hurt in Derrick's face right before he turned around and left.

::

"We're heading back, Massie. You coming?" Dylan shook her shoulder lightly, but Massie stayed staring at the dark ocean. The bonfire had turned into a small ember glow, only illuminating objects that were a few feet away. Everything on the outside was dark and unknown, giving Massie a sense of insecurity.

Dylan sighed and turned to leave, but Massie took hold of her hand quickly. The red-head looked down impatiently.

"Are you mad? Are they all mad?" Massie whispered, fear in her eyes.

"I don't know Massie. I don't know what to feel right now."

"Okay."

"I should get going. You coming?"

Massie shook her head. "I'll stay here for a while."

"I'll see you in the morning then."

Massie closed her eyes. "I'm sorry." She released Dylan's hand and turned back to look at the ocean.

It was so simple and so calm on the outside, with its rhythmic waves crashing against the shore.

On the inside, it was filled with dangers and fears that no human was brave enough to explore. It's salty depths were crawling with creatures just waiting to take a bite of human flesh. Massie shuddered; the ocean was so alike to herself. Physically, she appeared calm and collected. But on the inside, she was so twisted that she was capable of punching another person.

Disgusted with herself, and she could no longer remain sitting. She stood up and began walking along the dark beach, the slivery moon above casting an eerie glow on her surroundings.

She had barely walked for five minutes when a voice broke the silence.

"What are you still doing here?"

Massie jumped slightly, her heart pounding furiously. Derrick was sitting in the sand, facing the ocean, and Massie had almost just walked into him.

"My god, you scared me."

She couldn't see Derrick's face clearly, but she had a hunch that he was smirking with satisfaction.

"Miss me already?" Derrick shifted his position so that he was laying in the sand. The moon washed over him like liquid silver, and Massie couldn't help but feel a little warm.

"No, you smug bastard." She kept her voice cold, even though her insides were the total opposite.

"Then why are you here?" His voice was apprehensive and held back. _Almost_ vulnerable, but he was Derrick Harrington and vulnerable was the furthest thing possible form what he was. "I thought you would be in bed with Cam by now."

"I don't know," she sighed. "I don't even know what Cam and I are."

"That's weird. I thought you were in love with him."

"You're being stubborn-

"No. I'm being observant. It's so plainly obvious that you want to be _more than friends_ with him. I saw the way you looked at him after your kiss tonight." Derrick's voice was distant, and Massie had to lean down to hear him.

"Can I sit?" She asked.

Derrick tilted his head to face her. "Depends. Is it important?"

Massie sat down beside him, exhaling deeply. "My important is a whole other world from your important. But yes, it's very important to me."

Derrick crossed his hands beneath his head. "Okay, I'm listening."

Massie couldn't control the small smile that took over her lips. "Well that's a first."

Derrick was being oddly complacent. There had yet to be an argument between them, and it had already been at least ten minutes. Massie felt like their relationship was progressing. Maybe he was finally opening up to the fact that Massie was _normal_.

"Hurry up, Block. I'm falling asleep."

Massie twisted her hands on her knees, unable to come up with a way to phrase her words. Finally, after many moments of silence, Massie opened her mouth to speak. "I never thought I would be saying this to you, _ever_-"

"Ouch. That hurts."

Massie glared at him. "Shut up and listen! As I was saying," Massie paused to breathe. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the mean things I've said to you, and I'm especially sorry for punching you in the nose. Everything I did to you was rude and mean, and I regret that. I just want you to know that I am truly and sincerely sorry for what I've done."

"Where's this coming from?" Well that wasn't the response Massie was looking for, but it was something.

Massie decided to be honest. "This is coming from my heart."

Derrick didn't respond for a while. Massie thought he was angry at her, so she just stayed silent with him. The only sound between them was the soft splash of water against the sand. As the silence grew more and more prolonged, Massie grew more and more anxious.

"I knew this was a bad idea," she mumbled as she got up to leave.

"Wait."

It was one simple word, but the voice behind it was raw and true. Massie had never expected Derrick - of all people - to sound like this.

"Thanks, Block."

Massie almost cried. They were finally on good terms, and maybe not even good, but at least civilized. "Y-y-you don't have to feel compelled to apologize to me because I apologized to you... I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry and that maybe we could...start over?" Her last words came out like a question.

"Okay, Block. I get it." There was the tiniest hint of a smile in his voice.

Massie smiled and sat down next to Derrick slowly.

And they stayed like that the whole night, not touching each other, just sitting. And although they weren't anywhere near being friends yet, they weren't enemies either. Everything was okay for the night.


	11. Denial

**AN: **School makes me a very tired girl. **There will be some mature themes at the end of this chapter, and if you can't handle that, I suggest you either skip it or stop reading.**

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**Colorblind**

::

"Morning." Massie sat down on a barstool and greeted Derrick normally. She poured some milk into her cereal and started chewing.

Derrick didn't say anything back. He didn't even acknowledge her. Noisily, he opened the refrigerator and pulled out a donut from a few days ago.

Massie watched him closely. "You probably shouldn't eat that." She waited for his reaction, and when he didn't do anything, she continued talking. "It's like four days old and it's probably really stale."

Derrick took a bite of the hard donut and grimaced. "I'll eat what I want."

"Okay but you're probably going to throw up."

"It's _my_ stomach."

Massie took a spoonful of cereal and chewed thoughtfully. Derrick was acting a little strange this morning, but it's probably because he's not used to her being nice to him.

"So how did you sleep?"

Derrick nearly choked. "Are we seriously doing this?"

"Doing what?" Massie asked innocently.

"This whole "nice" thing. Do you honestly want to do that?"

"Um...okay? What's gotten into you this morning?" Massie set down her spoon and pushed her cereal away from her. She wasn't hungry anymore.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Derrick shrugged, a little too quickly.

Massie narrowed her eyes. "Last night-

"Last night?" Derrick interrupted. "I don't want to talk about last night. It was really late and I don't remember anything, so I'm going to forget about last night and you should too."

It was Massie's turn to choke, and she nearly choked on her new spoonful of cereal. "Are you high? Or drunk? Oh wait... are you _retarded_? What do you mean you just want to forget about last night? It's not like we hooked up or anything." Massie shuddered at that thought.

Derrick sighed and threw his barely eaten donut into the trash can like a professional basketball player. It landed into the metal can with a hollow thud, and Massie cringed. "Last night... nothing happened, okay? Now drop it, you're ruining my morning."

"What are you trying to do here? Are you trying to play some sick joke on me? Last night was very serious and very _real_ for me, I hope you understand that!" Massie was visibly tense now. "Stop avoiding it! Last night, last night we were friends!"

Derrick laughed coldy. "We will never be friends, Block."

The disbelief within Massie was continuously growing. Why did Derrick keep denying that fact that last night ever happened? "Okay, so maybe we weren't friends, but at least we were civil. I even apologized to you, Derrick. I apologized..."

"And I appreciated your civility towards me but-

"But what?" Massie yelled. "But you can't accept the fact that I'm sorry for all the things I did to you? What? Do you want me to treat you like crap? Because if that's what you want, I'll be happy to do it. Whatever makes you happy, I'll do it goddammit!"

"Okay, I don't want your charity. I can take care of myself. Don't feel obligated to make me happy because I'm happiest when you leave me alone." Derrick turned to leave the kitchen, but Massie got up and grabbed his wrist.

"I don't get it!" She growled impatiently. "I don't _get_ it! Last night, we talked. We _actually _talked like two normal people... and... and now you're in some kind of denial or something and I don't know how to handle it." She ran a hand through her long locks roughly, trying to pull at her brain. She just couldn't understand him. Last night, everything was fine, it was almost perfect. But now that it's morning, it almost seems as if Derrick transformed into a totally different person.

Derrick sighed. "I don't want you to be sorry for what you did."

"Are you saying you don't deserve my forgiveness?"

"No." He wrung his hands together. "I'm saying that if you apologize, it's only right if I apologize to you too. And I don't really want to do that. At least not now."

Massie gasped, her lips parting in disbelief. Was he actually saying this right now? Was she hearing him correctly? Massie laughed cruelly. "You know what, Derrick? I'll save you the trouble. I _forgive_ you. There! I said it!" Massie raised her hands up in defeat. "I forgive you! And you didn't even have to apologize!"

Derrick only shook his head. "You're crazy. What do I have to do to show you that I don't want us to be _friends_? Massie, you and I will never be anything more than enemies."

"How do you know that? Did you ever try to be nice to me? Have you ever smiled at me or thanked me or even looked at me without that dumb hatred in your eyes? No! You haven't! You wouldn't even know the first thing about being my friend! How do you know that we can't be friends if you've never tried?"

"Block-

"Shut up. Just shut up! I don't want to hear the shit that's going to come out of your mouth! You're weak, you know that?" Massie inhaled deeply. "I feel like I've told you this so many times, and you just don't understand it. It's _hard_ for me to live around you, okay? I just thought that maybe if we were friends, I could actually have fun during this stupid vacation."

Derrick backed away from Massie and yanked his wrist from her vise-like grip. "You need to calm the fuck down. Take some Advil or tranquilizers or something."

"I'll do that once you tell me why you're scared to be nice to me."

Derrick frowned. "I'm not scared-

"Then why do you treat me like this?"

"Because that's how I want to treat you. You don't have as much of my respect as you think you do."

Massie picked up her bowl, got up from her seat, and slammed it into the kitchen sink. The bowl split into five large pieces of cracked ceramic, and it was slightly amusing as Massie watched the broken pieces tumble around the stainless steel sink. She gripped the edge of the sink until her knuckles turned white. "I have been trying to stay calm around you for the past two weeks. But there is _nothing_ more I can do. You are hopeless. I give up." She let her head hang low over the sink.

"Massie-

"I forgave you! There is nothing else to do! I'm done with you." Massie turned on the faucet and rinsed the cereal down the drain. She picked up the broken bowl and tossed it into the trash can. She turned to look at Derrick; his expression was unreadable. "I'm done. I don't want to play this game anymore."

She dried her hands and walked out of the kitchen. This was the first time in her life that she was the one to walk away from an argument with Derrick Harrington.

::

The music in the bar was so loud Massie could feel it pounding in her head. It rattled her insides uneasily, and Massie steadied herself with another sip of the sour mysterious concoction Alicia had ordered for her. The air smelled of stale sweat and sex, and Massie wrinkled her nose every time she inhaled. She didn't want to be here, but it seemed like the perfect bittersweet ending to the perfect bittersweet day. All her friends were out on the dance floor having fun while she sat at the bar alone and became the ogling object of some strange man sitting on the darker side of the bar.

The argument between her and Derrick that morning kept replaying itself in her head, altering itself and twisting itself until it finally turned into a big mass of hurt and Massie just wanted to claw her head off.

"Massie," a slurred voice appeared next to her ear.

Massie turned around slowly to see the bloodshot eyes of Dylan. She leaned away from the redhead slightly.

"Your breath reeks of alcohol. Go home, Dyl."

"But we just got here," Dylan whined and began to twirl a piece of Massie's brown hair on her pointer finger.

Massie tugged her hair out of Dylan's grasp. "We've already been here for over an hour. I'm not having any fun, and you're having too much fun."

Dylan laughed airily, and stumbled forward into Massie's lap. "You're not having any fun because you've been sitting here for a _loooong_ time. Go dance, Mass. Let loose a little."

"I'll do that once you get off me."

Dylan giggled again and clumsily lifted herself up and turned back to head to the dance floor. Massie rolled her eyes. Dylan was always the first one to get drunk.

She turned back around, downed the rest of her drink, and called the bartender over.

"Excuse me," Massie tapped her glass onto the wooden counter.

A few moments later, an impatient bartender walked over, drying a glass. In the dimness of the club, Massie could make out a strong jawline and intense, dark eyes. She felt an instant attraction to the bartender, and smiled slyly. "Can you get me another order of..." Massie studied her empty glass. "Of whatever this was."

The bartender smiled flirtatiously. "Sure. Anything for a pretty lady like you."

Massie smiled again and handed the bartender her glass.

While she was waiting for her drink, Massie swiveled around on her barstool and surveyed the scene in front of her. The sweating teenagers were dancing so close to each other they looked like one giant mass of disgust. Why this would attract anyone, Massie would never know.

"Here's your drink, miss."

Massie turned around again and almost bumped into the bartender's outstretched arm. "Thank you," she whispered shyly.

"May I ask your name?"

Massie nodded and sipped her drink. It slid down her throat quickly, and burned in her stomach. "My name's Massie. What's yours?"

"Landon." The bartender smiled. "What are you doing here all alone?"

Massie chuckled. "I'm not alone, I just wanted to be separated from the mess for a bit.

"My shift is almost over. Will you dance with me after I'm done?"

Quickly, Massie finished off her drink. This time, the burn didn't bother her as much. It felt good and warm. "You might need to get a little more alcohol in me for me to dance with a stranger I just met. A _hot, hot_ stranger, but a stranger nonetheless."

"In that case..." Landon turned around and poured a dark caramel liquid into two glasses. "This should fill you up pretty quickly. On the house."

"You're a sneaky boy, Landon. A very sneaky boy. How did you know that I can't pass up a free drink?" Massie wiggled her finger in front of Landon's face before taking one of the glasses and emptying it's contents into her mouth. It was extremely bitter, and burned all the way up to her nose. Her eyes started watering, and her body's immediate response was to cough it out. But Massie kept the drink down, and it sat in her stomach painfully for a few moments before a sweet warmth replaced it. "Wow. That was intense."

Landon smirked. "That's because that was the strongest whiskey we have here. I usually don't serve it to young women like you, but you seem stronger than the rest."

"What if I'm just some underaged drinker trying to get drunk?"

"I trust you."

Massie shook her head lazily, and the small movement sent the room spinning in a million directions. "We just met. You didn't even ask me for an ID."

Landon raised an eyebrow. "Should I?"

Massie hiccuped and quickly started on the second glass. "No."

"I didn't think so."

Another customer called for a refill, and Landon disappeared as quickly as he came. Massie missed his presence immediately, but she silently finished her fourth drink, and closed her eyes. The music was muted now, drowned out by the sound of blood rushing up to her head. She had never had this much to drink before, and Massie immediately knew it was a bad idea.

She was just about to get up and leave when Landon came back, dressed in a tight gray t-shirt and black jeans. Massie eyed him for a few seconds.

"You look good," she hummed.

"But you look better."

Massie suddenly felt very self conscious in her white shorts and sparkly tank-top. But Landon took her hand firmly, and dragged her out to the dance floor.

The air transitioned from the coolness of the bar to the tightness of the dance floor. People were everywhere, and Massie was getting hot just standing there, in the middle of the crowd. Once again, Landon saved her and gripped her waist tightly as they swayed to the beat. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and lost herself in the music. The way Landon's body was pressed so tightly against hers did deliciously things to her mind, and her thoughts unconsciously drifted to Derrick.

Massie froze and pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Landon asked.

Massie shook her head. "Nothing, nothing." She pulled herself against Landon again, and they began swaying to the music as if nothing ever happened.

Something was wrong, and Massie couldn't focus on dancing with Landon anymore. Every time she closed her eyes, her brain pictured Derrick's face instead of Landon's and it scared Massie a lot. Maybe it was the way they both had piercing dark eyes that made Massie feel an instant connection to Landon. Although her feelings toward the bartender were the complete opposite of her feelings toward her roommate, she couldn't help but want Derrick too.

She felt a strange prickle on the back of her neck, like someone was watching her, and she had the urge to pull away from Landon multiple times. But she didn't want Derrick ruining the moment again, so she kept dancing.

"You're so beautiful," Landon whispered huskily into her ear.

Massie shivered and clung onto his shirt tighter.

"Your body is perfect against mine." Landon ground his hips into Massie's, and she could feel his blatant arousal. "I want you."

Massie's body went numb as she pulled away quickly. "We just met."

"You can't deny the attraction between us," Landon smiled, showing his brilliant teeth.

"We just met."

Landon chuckled. "Massie, if two people like each other, it's okay to follow what your heart wants."

Massie choked. "Landon, we just met."

Landon reached behind Massie's waist and pulled her closer. "I know that you like me, Massie. I can feel your heartbeat speed up when I whisper to you."

Massie pressed her palms against Landon's chest and pushed back roughly. "I just met you! I'm not a slut and I'm not going to bed with you!"

"You get away from her."

The threatening voice came out of nowhere, and Landon froze.

Massie gasped as Derrick emerged from the crowd.

"It's obvious the lady doesn't want you, so you can leave her alone."

Landon turned away from Massie to face Derrick. "Does she even know you?"

"Yes, she does. In fact, we've known each other for years. So back the fuck off, okay?"

"Are you going to fight me?" Landon asked provokingly.

Derrick laughed. "It wouldn't be a fight if I'm the only one doing all the punching. Now get out of here and leave her alone."

Landon looked at Massie, then back to Derrick. "Fucking possessive freak." He left the dance floor, leaving Massie heaving for air.

She took a step towards Derrick. "Thank you." She almost sobbed.

Suddenly, Derrick wrapped his arms around Massie's waist and pulled her to him. Massie stood there, frozen in time for a minute, before relaxing and molding herself against Derrick. She rested her head on his shoulder, where it fit perfectly, and breathed in his minty scent. It cleared her mind, even if she was still obviously drunk.

"Why are you doing this?" She whispered quietly.

Derrick heard her over the pounding bass. "We're both drunk. Might as well make it work."

::

They danced slowly to every fast song until Kristen finally found them and escorted them to their designated taxi.

"I'm happy for you, Massie." Kristen whispered before closing Massie's door.

Massie hummed. She was too drunk to understand what Kristen meant by that comment, so she smiled to herself the whole car ride home.

::

She stumbled into her room, her mind whirling and her mouth dry. The alcohol was finally making its way through her body, and it did not feel good at all. It was doing crazy things with her mind, and she almost caught herself thinking about Derrick in a way she would have never imagined.

Massie didn't like what was happening and she quickly splashed cold water on her face, but that only enhanced her pounding headache. She ripped off her clothes, disgusted, and furiously brushed her teeth before climbing into bed in only her bra and underwear.

There was a gentle knock on her door.

"Come in," Massie groaned.

Derrick stood in her door way, freshly changed into a t-shirt and basketball shorts. He stared at her unblinkingly for the longest time before he stepped in.

A blush crept up Massie's neck as she realized she was only wearing her under garments, but she was a little too drunk to care.

"Tonight..." Derrick began.

"Tonight was crazy."

He stared at her again, his dark eyes burning. It sent shivers down Massie's spine as she forced herself to stare back.

"Thank you, Derrick."

He took a step closer. Massie didn't notice.

"What you did for me was amazing."

Another step. She still didn't notice.

"You didn't have to, but you did anyway. I owe you. I really do."

It wasn't until he was standing directly above her did she notice that he had been moving closer to her this whole time.

She crawled out of her blankets to kneel in front of Derrick so that they were eye to eye. She was vaguely aware that she was almost naked, but that didn't matter. "I don't think I can thank you enough. This is the second time you saved my life. I know you hate me, but I just want you to know that I don't hate you. You're a different person, now, Derrick. And maybe you don't want people to know that but-

"Massie, shut up." Derrick's eyes were dark. They were very dark.

Massie giggled. "Sorry, that was the alcohol talking."

Everything was quiet after that. Massie stopped talking as she listened to Derrick's shallow breathing, in perfect synchronization with hers. His lips were just a few inches away, and they looked so inviting. His eyes kept drifting to her lips, too.

"Derrick-

His sweet mouth was on hers and everything stopped moving. It was nothing, yet Massie forgot how to breathe; she didn't know how to respond. When she didn't move, Derrick softly coaxed her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, and she slowly opened her mouth to invite him in. His lips were soft and gentle, but there was a sense of urgency behind the kiss. It made Massie want to melt into him and never let go. He tasted like mint and Massie couldn't help but breathe him in and never breathe out.

Her hands tangled in his hair as his warm hands found their way to her waist, resting just above the waistband of her panties. The contrast of his heat against her cool skin felt amazing. But she wanted more. She wanted so much _more_.

He pushed their bodies down onto the bed, and they landed with a soft thud. She dug her nails into his scalp, and he groaned deliciously. Massie couldn't fight it anymore. Suddenly, everything was Derrick. All she could see was Derrick. All she could taste was Derrick. All she could feel was Derrick. And she didn't want it any other way.


	12. Hurt

**Note: **Your responses are amazing. I can't thank you guys enough. Once again, a little mature, but I'm sure you guys can handle it.

::

**Colorblind**

::

The small sliver of yellow sunlight that escaped past her blinds hit Massie in the eye perfectly, washing the backs of her eyelids into a rosy glow that could only be associated with morning. She felt a certain bliss that she's never really felt before, and Massie doesn't know what to make of it. It was warm and gentle and soft, and it was so brand new that it almost made her uncomfortable. Yet it was the perfect kind of uncomfortable that just made her want to feel it longer; to get used to it because _this _was exactly what she wanted to get used to. Her heart was thumping softly in her chest, and her eyelids fluttered open gently, slowly adjusting to the brightness of the room.

Massie stretched her legs out under her and her arms out above her, sighing contentedly as her body tensed and then relaxed. She tried to turn her body, but a heavy arm was wrapped tightly around her waist. It was warm and strong and male, and it made the corner's of Massie's lips curve up faintly. A strong pulling tugged at her heart, and she automatically knew it was a good day. It was going to be a good day.

Her head was exceptionally clear this morning. Today was the perfect day for spending endless hours in bed, being lazy, being human. It was a break from all the drama that surrounded her life, and it was just what Massie needed. She needed a day just to relax and let loose because her head was going to explode if one more bad thing happened. Today was going to be the day she wouldn't have to look at the clock to see what time it was or check her phone to see if any of her friends had plans. Today was going to be about Massie because quite frankly, she has never had a day like that before.

Massie snuggled deeper into the body that was spooning her, and the answering groan was pure satisfaction. The arm around her pulled her even closer, and a searching nose buried itself in her hair. The warmth of a soft exhaled breath tickled her ear, and Massie closed her eyes once again.

At that moment, she decided would stay like this forever.

::

The body next to her jolted awake, and the arm holding her was immediately pulled away. Suddenly, everything was cold, and Massie's stomach dropped as she was jostled into consciousness.

"_Fuck. _Oh fuck!"

Massie turned around groggily. The space next to her on the bed was empty. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"You're kidding me, right?"

Was that Derrick's voice? Why was he angry again?

"Hmm?" Massie ran a hand through her tangled hair. Her brain was still foggy and she couldn't really understand the heaviness of Derrick's question.

There was slamming. There was a lot of slamming.

"Can you keep it down?" Massie growled angrily. "What are you doing in my room, Derrick?"

"_Shit. _You don't remember? Search that small brain of yours, Block."

On cue, all the memories from last night crashed down on Massie. All the kissing, and touching, and wanting all came back in one instant, and Massie instantly regretted the decision of letting herself remember. The drinking, and the dancing, and the bliss that came afterward, it all felt unwanted now. Gone was the good day because every day with Derrick just couldn't end up good.

She opened her eyes wider and was assaulted with the burning image of a naked Derrick pacing through her room, frantically gathering his clothes that were strewn all over the hardwood floor.

"OH GOD!" Massie slapped a hand to her eyes. "You're naked! Oh my god!"

"So are you!"

An embarrassing flush crept up Massie's cheeks as she yanked the blanket over her revealed body. Her mind was reeling. "What _happened_?"

Derrick grabbed his boxers and yanked them on roughly. "We happened. _We _happened. I can't believe I let myself lose control like that... I can't believe I let myself give in..."

"What are you talking about?" Her headache was almost unbearable. It felt like someone was hammering nails into her skull. Her throat was dry and her mouth tasted like sandpaper. "Derrick! What the hell happened?"

Derrick froze. His eyes widened as he looked at Massie with a disbelief that she had never seen before. It almost made her want to cry. "Derrick," she whispered tentatively. "Tell me what happened."

He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He was a statue. Massie inhaled a deep breath of bitter air. "Where are my clothes?" She asked with a hint of annoyance. "Derrick! Answer me!"

Derrick blinked once and snapped out of his trance. He whirled around and searched the floor quickly before throwing a pair of lacy undergarments at Massie. "Put these on. _Now_."

Massie pulled on her clothes, not even bothering to hide anything. She then got out of bed, walked to her closet, and put on a t-shirt and shorts. When she emerged from her closet, Derrick was sitting on her bed, fully clothed, breathing heavily.

"I-

Derrick looked up. "Don't say anything," he growled.

Massie stood in the door of her closet and watched him closely. Derrick ran a hand through his dark hair and rested his face in his hands. She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't remember a thing that happened and it was haunting her terrible, sending waves of dread all throughout her body. Unable to control herself, Massie walked over to her bed and sat down next to Derrick. He flinched, but didn't move. His face remained in his hands and his breathing remained staggered.

"What we did..." Massie choked on her own words. She cleared her throat. "What we did last night couldn't have been that bad."

Derrick looked up at her slowly. "You don't remember a thing?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"I was so drunk and everything was so blurry-

"Nothing? Not one thing?"

Massie blushed and wrung her hands in her lap. "I remember being happy."

Derrick let out a frustrated scream that sent Massie stumbling away from him. He leaped up from the bed, walked over to a wall, and punched it so hard the picture frame fell.

"Why are you so angry?" Massie yelled.

Derrick turned to her, eyes blazing, knuckles bleeding. "You don't remember-

"Should I?"

"You honestly don't-

"No! I don't remember a thing-

"We had _sex_!"

Massie opened her mouth to speak, but as the words rang through her ears, she couldn't force any sound to come out of her mouth. Her palms grew slick and her hands grew shaky as the heaviness of the situation fell upon her.

Derrick sighed. "We were both drunk."

Massie choked and a squeak forced itself from her throat. "Y-y-you're penis was _inside_ of me?"

"Don't say that like it grosses you out."

"It does."

"It didn't seem so gross when it was giving you pleasure, did it? It didn't seem so gross when you were screaming out my name like I was the last man on this Earth, _did it_?" Derrick's voice was rough and wild, like his eyes. He looked crazed as he stood there, his whole frame shaking with each of his shuddering breaths.

Massie covered her ears and shuddered. She didn't want to hear the bullshit coming out of his mouth. "Shut up shut up shut up!"

"You wanted me last night." Derrick smirked. Massie hated giving him the satisfaction of being right, but what could she do when he was.

She closed her eyes and slowly opened them. "You wanted me too."

Derrick didn't respond. That's when she knew that _he_ wanted her too. It almost lightened the atmosphere in the room. _Almost_.

Neither of them spoke. They let the heaviness of the situation settle on their shoulder for a while so that it can get comfortable before one of them cracks. A million thoughts were whirring through Massie's mind. The risks of having sex worried her to the point where she felt dirty.

"Did you pull out?" She blurted.

Derrick looked at her in pure confusion.

Massie rolled her eyes. "Did you pull-

Derrick thought for a moment. He walked away from the dent he made in the wall and stood in front of Massie, close enough that she could see his eyes clearly, but far away enough so that they couldn't touch each other. "We used a condom."

That wasn't enough. "Are you sure-

"Massie, I don't think I even came last night so you can put those worries about pregnancy and STD's away!"

A strange feeling of hurt crept into Massie's heart. "Was it that bad?"

Derrick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. I don't know, okay?"

Massie tried to release the deep breath she had been building inside her lungs, but then her breath hitched and she felt like sobbing. "Oh my god, we had sex-

Derrick groaned in frustration. "Yes, Massie! We had sex! It's not like..." Derrick stopped speaking abruptly.

When he didn't finish his sentence, Massie furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

Derrick started shaking his head furiously. "Oh no, oh no, oh _no_."

"Derrick, what the hell is going on? What were you going to say?" Massie gripped her bedsheets impatiently.

He swallowed loudly. "...It's not like you've never had sex before... Massie, you've had sex before right?"

"What? No, of course I haven't!" The gears in Massie's head suddenly clicked. "Oh _fuck_."

"So you're telling me you were a virgin." Derrick's words were monotonous; there was no emotion in his voice what-so-ever.

"Oh my god!" Massie suddenly became furious. Her face felt hot and her blood began to boil. "You _took_ my virginity. Fuck, Derrick! My first time was supposed to be special and it ended up being some drunk, sloppy one night stand with-with-with _you_!"

Derrick backed away slowly. "It's not like I wanted to, Block. It's not like I wanted what happened last night to happen!"

Massie stood up shakily. "I was so happy. How could I have been so happy?"

"I don't know!" Derrick roared. "I haven't had sex in a few days so I probably would have hit any girl last night, and it just so happened to be you. Trust me when I say this is the first time I've ever regretted using my dick."

"Are you comparing me to the sluts you bring into this house? Because I am not like that! I can't believe you-

Derrick opened the bedroom door. "I'm done with this conversation."

"You took something special away from me, Derrick. You took it away from me." Massie's voice grew softer as sadness washed over her, replacing her anger quickly. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, and she blinked rapidly to hold them back.

His dark eyes watched her warily. "And what do you want me to do? Give it back?" "It's too late to turn back."

"If I had a time machine, I would go back and take away the whole night." Derrick's voice didn't give away any hint of emotion as he openly admitted ever touching Massie, ever looking at her the way he did last night.

Massie gasped. "The whole-

"Yes, the whole fucking night, starting from the bar until... until now."

"You regretted the _whole_ thing?" Massie didn't like the things her heart was doing right now. It was fighting with her brain; one side telling her that he's just lying, the other side telling her that he actually hates her.

Derrick nodded. "It was a spontaneous thing and hopefully it won't ever happen again."

"So the dancing, it didn't mean anything? When you saved me from that dick Landon, you weren't thinking about anything? _What_ are you?" Massie spat the words out venomously. So this is what it felt like to be heartbroken.

"Massie, I don't want to remember-

"This is what you always do! When we talked like two normal people, you wanted to forget it. And now... this... you want to forget this too! Why do you constantly want to erase me from your life?"

Derrick took one giant step towards Massie, and he towered a few inches over her. She could smell him. He smelled like sleep, and faint mint, and she wanted anything but for it to go away. But she couldn't have it. Not anymore. The moment has already passed, and brief as it was, she knew _she_ wouldn't ever forget it.

"When I'm around you, I lose control." His words were surprisingly gentle as they floated softly into her ears. "But I don't want that. That's the furthest thing from what I want. I'm sorry I took your precious virginity. I promise it will be the only thing I take from you."

"You've already taken so much more than my damn virginity! You took the better half of my childhood years! I was _miserable_ because of you!"

Derrick stood there, taking in the verbal abuse as if it were nothing. The way he reacted so nonchalantly only pissed Massie off more.

The hot tears started rolling down Massie's cheeks, blurring her vision, blurring the dark world around her. Her head was pounding and her grip on the world was loosening. "Get out. _Get out_."

The answering slam of a closing door was almost reassuring.

Finally alone, Massie freed the tears that had been building within her since day one. She could be strong in front of her friends, but when she was alone, she could finally break down all those walls and just _be_.

And when all the tears finally drained from Massie's eyes and her heart felt empty, she ran to the bathroom to empty her stomach.

::

"I slept with Derrick."

The collective gasp of her four girlfriends was deafening.

"Massie!"

"You did _nawt_."

"Oh my god..."

"You _what_?"

Alicia raised up her hand. "Everyone shut up. Massie, what happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Massie shook her head. "I'm fine."

Claire scooted her lawn chair closer to Massie. "Were you okay with it? Because if it wasn't consensual, I'm going to get Cam to beat his ass."

"I wasn't raped, Claire." Massie rolled her eyes at her blonde friend and took a sip of her cool ice tea.

After spending the morning in her room sobbing and virtually throwing up any food in her stomach, Massie decided the best way to tell her friends the news was to go to the beach, tan and get everyone relaxed before she ruined all of their moods. She was feeling better than she was a few hours ago, but the faint traces of a hangover still hung around her head.

"Wait. Massie. Let me get this straight," Dylan leaned towards Massie and lifted her sunglasses up to her forehead. "Derrick put his penis inside of your vagina? And you were okay with that?"

"After Kristen called us a cab last night, we were both so drunk we just sort of...happened." Massie tried to keep it as vague as possible. "Oh, and Kris."

"Hmm?" Kristen responded.

"What did you mean by 'I'm happy for you'?" Massie asked.

Kristen sighed. "Well, at the moment I finally thought you and Derrick worked things out. I guess not."

Massie leaned back onto her towel. "That's exactly how I feel. I can't believe Derrick was my first-

"Derrick was your first?" Alicia screeched. "Oh no! That can't be! A girl's first time should be romantic and special... not some drunk hook up with possibly the only person you've ever hated. Oh Massie!"

Massie cringed. "Keep it down, Leesh. I don't want the guys to here this." She tilted her head to Cam, Josh, Chris, and Kemp, who were surfing in the ocean. Derrick was no where to be seen.

"Good," Dylan piped in. "We want Derrick to get his ass whooped."

"Guys," Massie sighed. "You know that's not what I want."

"It's what you need," Claire murmured.

Suddenly, Cam was standing right next to Massie's lawn chair, his tall shadow blocking the sun from Massie's skin. "Hey! Where'd the sun go?" Massie took off her sun glasses and looked directly into the piercing blue-green eyes of Cam. "Hey, Cam."

His wet hair was dripping down onto her, and the cold ocean water send goosebumps dotting her arms. "What are you ladies up to?"

"None of your business," Alicia snapped.

"You guys look tense," Cam noticed.

"That's because Massie slept with Derrick and he took her v-card!" Claire blurted, and immediately covered her mouth.

Massie gasped and whipped around to turn to Claire. "Claire! What the hell?"

Claire looked like she was about to cry. "I-I'm sorry Massie... I just wanted to protect you."

"By telling Cam? You're just making things worse. I'm leaving." Massie stood up and gathered her towel into a ball, shoving it into her beach bag.

Cam reached out and grabbed Massie's shoulder. "Mass, wait." The contact of their skin was electrifying, but Massie didn't need that right now. She didn't _want_ that right now.

"What?" She turned around slowly.

"If you want," Cam smiled. "I can tell the other boys and we can give Harrington a piece of our minds."

Massie smiled back, but it wasn't genuine. "I would prefer if you didn't do that." She turned to the girls. "Bye ladies, I'll see you later."

::

Massie had just settled on the couch with a magazine when the door flung open and Derrick stormed inside.

"Would you like to kindly explain why the _fuck _all my friends tried to beat me up today?"

Massie's stomach dropped as she placed her magazine down. "W-what?"

"They said something about me "taking advantage" of you? What the hell did you do, Block?" Derrick closed the door with equal force and paced around the couches.

"Oh god _Claire_."

Derrick stopped pacing and turned to look at her. "What?"

Massie sighed. "Claire told Cam we hooked up."

"Who told Claire?" It was a threat.

Massie swallowed loudly. "I did." She prepared herself for an outburst, but nothing came. All that followed her confession was silence. "Derrick?"

She stood up and walked over to him. It was a bad idea, but her legs seemed to have a mind of their own. When Massie was just an inch in front of him, she tried to meet his eyes, but he kept avoiding her gaze.

"Derrick?"

"Don't _Derrick_ me," he snarled.

Massie gasped. There were purpling bruises all along Derrick's jawline and his right eye appeared to by swelling. "What did they _do_ to you?"

Derrick pulled his face back. "It's nothing."

"They did that to you because of _me_?" Massie felt an immense guilt settle in the pit of her stomach. Why did it always seems that Derrick was taking the beatings for her faults? She reached up and gentle touched a bruise near the left corner of Derrick's lip. He winced. "Who did this?"

Derrick didn't respond, but he didn't pull away from her touch either. Massie wanted to cry all over again. "Tell me, Derrick! Who did this to you?"

"You're precious Cam, alright? You're fucking innocent Cam did this to me!" Derrick glared at Massie before pulling his face away from her hand and backing away a few steps.

Massie shook her head. "No. Cam would never do that."

"You don't know him at all," Derrick chuckled. "He gets _very_ jealous."

"That's not Cam. He's not like that." Massie was denying it more for her reassurance than Derrick's. Her brain just couldn't wrap itself around the fact that Cam beat Derrick up over her.

Derrick turned. "You are so blind, Massie." He walked into the kitchen, fuming.

Massie followed him stupidly, and found his crouched over the sink, gripping the edge so tightly his knuckles turned white. She silently walked up behind him.

"I'm sorry, Derrick."

Nothing.

"I don't want you to get hurt because of me. I don't want you to lost a friend because of me."

"That doesn't mean anything. What happened has already happened." Derrick turned around quickly, and his swinging arm caught Massie in the nose. There was a muted crack, but it wasn't enough to break anything. The impact was fast, and it sent Massie stumbling backwards against the counter. She held onto her nose as her eyes reflexively teared up. There was a resonating pain that started from the bridge of her nose.

The emotions that flitted across Derrick's face almost made him look pained. First there was anger, then shock, then guilt, and finally nothing. His eyes became totally devoid of emotions as he stared at the hand that covered Massie's nose.

"I'm fine." But when she opened her mouth to speak, Massie felt the coppery stream of blood flow into her mouth. She swallowed back a gag. "I just need a towel."

"Move your hand, Massie."

Massie closed her eyes and slowly lifted her bloodied hand from her face. Her palm was smeared with blood, and she could feel the blood dripping off her chin. Although her face hurt like hell, she could still breathe so she knew nothing was seriously damaged.

His eyes widened and he slowly looked as if he was disgusted with himself.

"I'm sorry you have to see this." She quickly covered her nose again.

"Why are you always apologizing?"

"I-I-

Derrick couldn't stop staring at her face. "Doesn't it hurt?"

Massie frowned. "A little but-

"I did that to you."

"It was an accident-

"How can you still be talking to me right now?"

Massie sighed. "I'm fine-

"I have to get out of here." He looked around frantically before walking a giant curve around Massie and heading out the kitchen.

Massie stood there, and when she heard the front door click shut, she wondered if Derrick would ever touch her again.


	13. Home

**AN (PLEASE READ):** I deleted a few stories off my account because honestly it was just too much to handle. I'm really sorry if this is a huge disappointment to some of you guys but it was also a very heartbreaking decision for me to make. I hope you guys understand that I had bitten off a little more than I could chew and my inspiration just kept flying everywhere. But now that I have narrowed my plate to just one multi-chaptered story, I can focus all my energy on making Colorblind the best it could possibly be. Sorry for making this author's note the length of a novel! Here's chapter 13. I hope you guys enjoy.

::

**Colorblind**

::

"Massie."

She didn't move.

"Massie?"

Still not moving.

"Massie!"

"Oh would you just shut the fuck up already?" Massie groaned into her pillow and remained face down on her bed.

A hand started shaking her roughly. "Get up, Massie! And where the hell is Derrick?"

Squeezing her eyes shut tightly did nothing to erase the memories from last night - the scenes of her getting hit, and the look of pure fear on his face - it was as if they were permanently burned into her brain. "Just leave. I'm tired."

"Mass," a softer voice whined. "We really want you to join us today. Leesh has so many fun things planned."

"Well you can do them without me," Massie mumbled against her bed and tugged the pillow up around her ears.

The comfortable blankets were pulled off of her. "Get the hell up, lazy ass. You're wasting our time." The voice was masculine and jovial, but it still spiked Massie's anger.

"All right, all right!" She shot up. "How many of you are there? And why the hell are you all in my room?" Her amber eyes scanned her white room warily - not looking, just sort of glazing over - at Dylan, Claire, and Cam as they stood over her bed anxiously.

Cam smirked. "We want to take you out today."

Massie rubbed her tired eyes. "I don't want to go anywhere."

"What's with Debbie Downer?" Dylan mused as she smacked Massie in the back of her bird's nest hair with a pillow. "Cheer up and get dressed; we're all waiting on you now."

"Do you guys not speak English?" Massie rolled her eyes and flopped back down onto her bed. "I'm not in the mood to do anything today."

Claire pouted. "But Mass...I feel like we haven't hung out in ages."

"Claire," Massie sighed. "I'm sorry but I just feel really shitty today."

"Is it because Derrick's not here?" Cam accused.

Massie didn't move. She didn't want to do anything then and there. All she wanted at that moment was for everyone to shut the hell up and leave her alone. She covered her ears with her hands and turned onto her side to lay in the fetal position.

"Cam, you bastard, look at what you did," Dylan whispered angrily. A loud smack followed. "Mass, Mass honey, don't listen to him, okay? He's a jealous bitch. Get up please? We'll go get some of those croissants you love so much."

Although Dylan's words were slightly comforting, Massie still couldn't bring herself to move her body. The way Cam said those words were like sharp knives, cutting into her back. She didn't know why he was so bitter towards her all of a sudden, and she really just wanted him to go away.

"Massie?" Cam's voice was gentle now as he softly laid down on her bed beside her. "You know I didn't mean it like that. I just don't like the way he's always around you. I'm just scared that he'll... grow on you."

She turned so her body faced Cam. "He already has."

Cam cleared his throat. "What?"

Claire and Cam shared this knowing look that suddenly shot a pang of jealousy right through Massie's core. She narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

Massie shook her head and looked up. "Dylan...Claire... can I talk to Cam alone?"

The redhead and the blonde nodded suspiciously and sauntered out the door, arm in arm. When Massie was sure they had left the house, she sat up straight and Cam mimicked her, wrapping a warm arm around her bare shoulders. She leaned back into him and reveled in the way they fit together like two perfect puzzle pieces.

"Derrick ran away last night."

She could feel Cam's burning gaze from above her, but she kept her eyes focused on their feet and how her nail polish needed some retouching.

"What happened?"

Massie didn't understand why Cam wasn't freaking out. "What do you mean _what happened_?"

He shrugged beside her. "I mean, why? What happened between you two last night?"

"He got mad at me for telling you guys that we hooked up." Massie choked on her own words a little; it was as if her own body didn't want her telling other people these secrets.

"And so he ran?" Cam's voice drifted off, confused.

"Not before he elbowed me in the nose."

Cam sprung up from the bed. "He did _what_?"

"Oh my god! Cam, no, not like _that_!" Massie waved her hands around desperately. "It was a complete freak accident and I think... I think it hurt him more than it hurt me." She looked down at this sudden realization.

Cam was still fuming. "He hurt you, _again_?"

"Don't overreact-

"Overreact?" Cam cried hysterically. "This guy just walks in and fucking abuses you! How can you just sit here and take it? Massie?"

Massie closed her eyes and once again willed it all to go away. "Cam, I am honestly fine. Please don't-

"I'm going to hunt him down. I am going to hunt that bastard down!"

"Don't, Cam! You're being stubborn!"

He ran a hand through his sandy hair. "I'm being stubborn? You're the one getting hit by this guy and you're _okay_ with it?"

Massie sighed. "Cam-

"What's wrong with you, Massie?"

"Cam! Listen to me." Massie crawled over to where he was standing and laid a hand on his cheek; it was burning. "Didn't you hear me? I think it hurt him more than it hurt me."

"Are you-are you okay?" He touched her nose lightly.

She looked up at him from under her thick lashes. "Of course. I am more than okay."

Cam sighed and sat back down on the bed. Massie scooted over to make room for him. He looked so cute when he was angry; she couldn't help it.

After a few moments of reflective silence, Massie spoke first.

"I'm sorry I worry you so much."

Cam chuckled half-heartedly. "You're like a baby, Massie."

"Gee, thanks," she replied sarcastically.

He slid his finger along her cheek softly. "But you're my baby."

The smile that spread across Massie's face was embarrassing to say the least, but no one else was there but Cam and that's exactly how she wanted it.

::

Warm lips pressed lightly against her collarbone and Massie sighed quietly. Soft hair tickled the underside of her chin and Massie couldn't stop the giggle that bursted through her lips.

"D, stop!" She laughed, using her hands to push the body off from on top of her. Her amber eyes fluttered open and she looked straight into the frozen eyes of Cam.

"What did you say?" He asked coldly.

Massie mentally slapped herself for letting her messy tongue slip. A slow blush crept up her cheeks as she searched for the right thing to say. "I said 'C, stop!', Cam. What did you think I said?" She tilted her head for added innocence.

Cam narrowed his eyes slightly, but he looked convinced. He flipped himself off of Massie and laid down next to her. "Okay... for a second there I thought you said D."

Massie rolled over so she was snuggled tightly against Cam's side. "The letter D and the letter C do sound awfully similar."

"You're right. I'm just being paranoid." He ran a hand through her wavy hair.

"Cam, stop worrying so much. I want _you_ and only you. Derrick's not even here right now. What we have is special."

Cam placed a soft kiss in her hair. "I really like you, Massie."

Massie smiled, but for some reason it felt forced. "I really like you, too." The words coming out of her mouth felt foreign; they didn't feel right, they felt forced. But Cam believed her anyway and Massie wondered how long he was going to be fooled by her until everything fell apart and she finally broke his heart.

"I wish we could stay in bed forever, but it's already 5 o'clock. I promised Josh I'd him get ready for the barbeque. I'll see you at the beach." Cam got off the bed and Massie followed him numbly.

"Okay. See you." She pecked him chastely on the lips and closed her bedroom door behind him.

Disgusted with herself, Massie ripped off her clothes and jumped into the shower. She blasted the cold water onto her overheated body and forced herself to stand under it as punishment for being such a deceiving, manipulative person. She was honestly beginning to hate herself for using Cam as her pass time until Derrick got back. But Derrick had been gone for almost two weeks and everyone was beginning to freak out. Josh almost called the police, but Cam stopped him and told him Derrick would come back when he was ready. Massie was beginning to feel like Cam didn't actually want Derrick around.

After her shower, Massie head was still a little foggy as she dressed herself in shorts and a summery tank top. She looked at her clock - it was already almost 6:30. She combed her hair into a sleek ponytail, put on her sandals, and walked out to the beach.

Alicia, Kristen, and Dylan were already sitting by the bonfire drinking plastic cups of vodka. Claire was standing next to Cam, watching him grill. Josh, Kemp, and Chris kicked around a soccer ball along the water. Everything seemed normal; no one was acting as if one of their friends had been missing for eleven days.

"Mass! Come join us!" Kristen screamed loudly.

Massie smiled and walked over the the log Kristen was sitting on. She sat down by the blonde, and a cup of vodka immediately appeared in front of her.

"Drink up," Alicia ordered as she shoved the cup in Massie's face.

"Okay, okay." Massie took the cup of sloshing alcohol and brought it to her mouth. The smell instantly burned her nasal passage, all the way up to her eyes, but she drank the liquid bravely. It burned for a few seconds before leaving a warm aftertaste. "That's some strong stuff."

"Only the best." Dylan tilted her cup in Massie's direction. "Cheers, bitch."

Massie returned the gesture and drank another mouthful of vodka. Then she set her cup in the sand; she couldn't afford getting drunk anymore.

"So," Alicia leaned into the circle and Massie automatically knew gossip was going to spill. "Where the hell has Mr. Derrington been? Massie, any ideas?"

Massie choked a little. "No-no I don't know where he is."

Dylan raised her eyebrows. "That boy, he's going to be the death of us. He better haul that ass back soon or I'm calling the secret service."

"As if," Kristen rolled her eyes. "Just because your mother is Mari-Lee Marvil does not mean you can just call government people when you want to."

"Chill out, Kris, I was just joking." Dylan slurped her drink noisily. "And that's beside the point. We're talking about _Derrington_, not my mom's connections."

Massie sighed. "You guys are my best friends, okay? So what I'm going to tell you right now will _never_ leave this circle."

Alicia mimicked zipping her lips shut. Dylan nodded solemnly.

Kristen smiled. "What happens in the circle stays in the circle."

"You guys are amazing." Massie sucking in a deep breath of ocean air. "I'm stuck in the middle of something."

"Middle of what?" Alicia asked.

"Two boys," Massie admitted shamefully.

Dylan giggled obnoxiously. "That's dirty, M. I never labeled you as one of the kinky types."

Massie glared at the red head. "Shut up, Dylan. Not everything I talk about relates to sex."

"Then tell us what's going on!" Kristen begged.

"Okay." Massie gathered her thoughts quietly. "I don't know if I should like Cam or if I should like Derrick."

The girls fell silent.

Massie scanned them with anxious eyes, reading each of their facial expressions as they pondered the situation.

Then Kristen spoke up. "Cam is the obvious choice, but-

"But Derrick is sexier, more mysterious, darker," Dylan mused.

Alicia drank her drink thoughtfully. "Massie, think about all the history you've had with Derrick. It's not really a good base for a relationship if your history is literally horrible. Plus, I though you guys hated each other."

"That's my problem!" Massie groaned in frustration. She covered her face with her hands. "Derrick is so horrible to me, but I can't help my growing feelings toward him. It's like my heart is totally disregarding what my brain is screaming at me."

Kristen patted Massie's back gently. "Well think about Cam. Ever since Derrick left, you guys have been inseparable."

"But I'm not so sure about Cam. I mean, what we have is amazing... but it's so sudden. It's like he's finally noticed me _after_ this vacation started."

"Derrick treats you like shit, Mass." Alicia's statement was simple and to the point.

Dylan shook her head, her red curls bouncing everywhere. "But haven't you guys noticed how much has changed ever since Derrick has been spending so much time with Massie? It's as if he's a whole new person. And he smiles now, sometimes. Massie, you're changing him _for the better_."

"That doesn't change the fact that he physically harms her!" Alicia retorted.

"You guys make it sound like he's abusing me!" Massie argued. "Derrick is doing no such thing. Everything that happened between us were accidents." Massie suddenly stopped moving. _Everything that happened between her and Derrick were accidents_.

Kristen shook Massie. "You okay?"

Massie nodded slowly and took another sip from her cup. "I hurt him, too."

"Well perfect." Dylan clapped. "All this hurting has got to get old soon, and then you guys can have wonderful make-up sex."

"You disgust me." Massie kicked sand at Dylan's bare legs.

Dylan smirked. "That's what I'm here for."

"Thank you guys, really." Massie smiled. "It feels so much better to get everything off my chest."

Alicia reached across and took Massie by the hand. "That's what we're here for, Mass. To help you through this mess."

Suddenly a crash came from the grill.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

The girls quickly stood up to survey the scene. Josh was holding Cam back as Derrick walked towards him.

"I could smell the burning meat from miles away, Fisher."

Cam spat on the ground. "It's called a barbeque, Harrington."

Massie's heart soared at the sound of Derrick's name, and she quickly ran over to the two angered boys. Alicia, Kristen, and Dylan came quickly after. Claire was already at the scene, cowering behind the grill.

"Massie, thank gawd you're here. What the hell is going on?" Claire asked Massie as they stood back and watched.

Massie shook her head. "I honestly don't know."

"I'm going to end you!" Cam yelled furiously.

Derrick smirked and crossed his arms. "Nice to see you again, too, _friend_."

"Cam, calm down, it's just Derrick," Josh whispered tensely.

Kemp stood between the two guys. "Seriously, Cam? Why the hell are you overreacting."

"He beats her, you know? He fucking takes his hands and he hurts her." Cam was seething, and Massie instantly felt a sudden guilt upon her chest.

Claire turned to look at Massie curiously. "They're fighting about _you_ again?"

"Don't say that like I want it." Massie growled and walked closer to the guys, closer to Derrick.

"Massie, come here." Cam took her arm and pulled her close to him. "Just say the word, and I'll give him a taste of his own medicine."

Massie pulled out of Cam's grasp. "Cam, stop it. You're being dramatic."

"Massie, it's okay. You won't get in trouble. Just say the word."

"This is not what I want, Cam. You're handling this very immaturely and I would like it if you two just stopped."

Derrick took a step closer. "You heard her, Fisher. Just stop."

"I'll stop once you stop."

"I'm not doing anything." Derrick held his hands up.

Cam laughed coldly. "We all know what goes on in that guest house, Harrington. We all know what you've done to her and it won't be long before we call the cops on you and land your ass in jail."

"Oh really?" Derrick threatened. "I'd like to see you try."

"Let's start right now, fucker." Cam pushed Massie out of the way and leaned towards Derrick.

Massie immediately ran in between them. "Stop it! You guys are being stupid!" She pushed against Cam's chest.

He stumbled back clumsily. "Massie, stay out of this."

"Cam, I want you to stop, right _now_."

Derrick sneered. "What kind of relationship is that? You don't even listen to her."

"Massie and I love each other."

Massie froze. "W-what?"

Cam grabbed her by the shoulders and pressed her against his chest. "We love each other very much, and we don't need someone like you to ruin this moment."

"What moment?" Derrick laughed.

"This one." Cam crushed his lips against Massie's and suddenly she couldn't breathe. This is not the person she thought Cam would be: possessive, jealous, violent. Everything was suddenly so foreign and she wanted to leave now.

"Get off of me, Cam." She begged in between his messy kisses.

Cam pulled her closer.

"Hey, she said get off!"

Cam looked up. "You can't break our bond, Derrick. I know you're jealous, but she wants _me_, so live with it."

"Stop, Cam! You're hurting me." Massie tried with all her strength to pull away from Cam's strong grip, but he held tight.

"Let go of her." Derrick's voice was suddenly right behind her and she could hear the threatening undertone in her growl; it sent shivers down her spine.

Cam froze for a second. "Make me."

And suddenly, the noise of cracking bone filled Massie's ear. The tight hands around her instantly disappeared and a gush of lukewarm air swirled around her bare arms. Someone screamed and Derrick's presence from behind her disappeared too.

"I know what you're trying to do, Fisher. You're not fooling anyone. I know about your thing with Claire. Don't drag Massie into it, she deserves so much better."

She whipped around and she saw the hurt and sorry in his eyes. They were suddenly in their own world, and Massie stopped breathing. Then he walked away into the blackness.

"Oh my god!"

"What the fuck?"

"Are you okay?"

"Is it broken?"

Massie turned around numbly and the hectic scene that greeted her was annoying to say the least. Cam was sitting up, blood gushing from his nose. Claire was kneeling by his side, crying. Alicia, Dylan, and Kristen stared at Massie blankly. Josh and Kemp had vanished, probably to go get ice packs and towels. Chris remained, talking seriously with Cam, a crease above his eyebrow.

Alicia walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

Massie didn't move. "I need to get out of here."

"Okay." The brunette nodded and walked away, unblocking Cam and leaving him in Massie's line of sight.

He saw Massie and a wave of guilt washed over his face. "Massie-

"Stop, Cam. I don't want to hear it."

"I'm _sorry_."

Massie shook her head. "That doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Oh, and I don't _love_ you."

She turned around quickly and headed back to the guest house before Cam could respond.

::

The door to the house opened silently, and Massie walked in with a heavy heart. She kicked her shoes off and headed to the kitchen to pour herself a drink.

The events of tonight were going to haunt her for a while, and she knew she was going to have to avoid Cam and Claire until she could get out of California.

When she entered the kitchen, she almost screamed. Derrick was sitting at the table, a glass of caramel colored scotch in hand.

"You stayed." It wasn't a question.

He nodded and drank the rest of his drink. "I stayed."

She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and took a seat by him. He poured her some scotch politely. "Thanks," she murmured.

"It's just a drink."

"No." Massie scanned his expressionless face. "Thank you for what you did tonight."

"It was nothing," Derrick replied a little too quickly. "He deserved it anyway."

Massie sipped the bitter alcohol. "Why did you come back, Derrick?"

He sighed. "I got bored."

"Why did you _really_ come back?"

He looked at her with his hazel eyes. They were darker than usual, and Massie fell into them. Then, he abruptly broke eye contact and examined his cup. "I don't know, Massie. I got in the car and just drove here." His tone was defensive.

Massie pushed further. "Are you sure-

"I didn't come back for you, if that's what you're thinking."

She lifted her glass and drank another gulp of scotch. "I know."

"Wow." Derrick chuckled. "I thought you were going to throw a bitch fit after I said that."

"I'm not that sensitive."

Derrick nodded.

Massie finished her drink and set the glass on the counter. "Thank you, again for tonight." She leaned in close to Derrick and quietly inhaled his minty, woodsy scent. And in the spur of the moment, she placed her lips gently on his cheek. "I'm glad you came back, for whatever reason it may be."

She left before she could see the small smile growing on his lips.

::

**AN: **I wrote this chapter quite quickly and I wanted to get it up for you guys soon. Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors.


	14. Walk

**AN:** January has been a very bad month, my apologies.

::

**Colorblind**

::

Her phone rang noisily on the bedside table, but Massie didn't want to answer it. She laid face down on her pillow for a few seconds, waiting for the ringing to stop. After seven rings, her cellphone went silent. But five seconds later, the ringing started up again. Massie let out an exasperated groan and grabbed her phone, flipping it open angrily.

"What do you want, Dylan?" Massie rubbed her eyes with her hand as she pressed the phone between her ear and her shoulder.

There was a small giggle on the other line. "Jesus, M, no need to get pissed. I was just calling-

"Not everyone is a morning person."

Pause. "It's not morning anymore..."

Massie shot up from her lying position. "What time is it, Dylan?"

"Hold on." The sound of muffled rustling filled Massie's ears as she patiently waited. After a few seconds, the rustling stopped and Dylan came back on the line. "It's one in the afternoon."

Massie blinked a few times. "Ok. Thanks for waking me up."

"You're welcome, lazy ass. Now can we get back to why I called?"

"Sure, sure." Massie sat up and ran a hand through her tangled hair. "What's up?"

"Well, the girls and I were talking, and we decided that you need a new wardrobe. We're taking you shopping!"

Massie looked out her window and noticed the sky was getting darker as they spoke. "Don't you think it's gonna rain? All the malls are outdoors."

Dylan sighed, annoyed. "Yes, _but_ you _need_ this, _okay_?"

Rolling her eyes, Massie climbed out of bed. "Thank you for emphasizing every other word. I really appreciated that. I'm just not really in the mood, okay? Plus I don't really want to see Claire"

"Massie! You're never in the mood for anything. We're doing this for _you_, you know? And to prove it, we won't even mention this to Claire."

"Thank you," Massie said as she pulled on a jacket. "But I feel like every time we do something, it's for _me_. I don't want to be burden; I can take care of myself."

"We're your best friends, Massie. You have to let someone watch your back. We all love you like family, so you have to let us treat you like family too. I know that sometimes our plans can be too much, but we all have your best interest at heart."

Massie finished dressing, and staring blankly into the wall in front of her as she pondered upon Dylan's heartfelt words. Soon enough, her heart melted and she gave in to her friend's words. "I love you guys, too. But if it starts raining, we are going back. No buts."

Dylan squealed through the other line. "Yes! You're the best! Meet at Alicia's house in five."

Massie chuckled to herself as she snapped her phone shut and walked down the stairs to tell Derrick she was heading out, but she was only met with an empty house.

"Derrick?" She asked into the emptiness. Her voice bounced around the barren halls and high ceilings before landing flatly on the wooden ground.

For some strange reason, Massie felt betrayed. Things with Derrick were finally looking up, and yet he still managed to leave her so alone. She sighed hollowly, grabbed her purse, and walked out the door.

::

"Oh my god, this would look _so _good on you, Mass." Kristen squealed as she held up a skimpy dress in front of Massie's body.

Massie grimaced and swatted it away. "It's so tiny I could wear it as a headband."

Dylan sauntered over, a sugar cookie in hand. "At least you can wear it. You do have a killer bod, M."

"Dyl..." Massie eyed her friend sadly. "You're beautiful, too. Sometimes I wish I had a body like yours, with a nice chest and a nice butt-

"Don't say shit like that, Massie. I know you would rather be skinny than like me." The redhead flung her cookie at the trash can aimlessly, getting her dirty looks from the shop employees. "I'm never going to eat damned sugary things ever again. Starting today, I am going to workout like a freak."

Alicia walked over, her arms full of dresses and skirts to try on. "Are you ladies coming or not? You've barely picked out anything to wear."

"I'm too fat," Dylan whined.

Alicia rolled her eyes.

"This isn't really my style," Kristen added apologetically.

"Not every store can carry sports bras and running shorts, Kristen."

Kristen blushed. "Those are _not _the only things I wear." She quickly pulled three items off a random rack without looking and headed towards the fitting room.

Massie grabbed the dress Kristen had offered her earlier, along with two other dresses that were nearest to her. "I'll come with you, Leesh. Dylan, at least come with so you can share your opinions with us."

Dylan looked as if she was contemplating the suggestion, and broke out into a tiny grin. "Fine, I guess."

Alicia turned around, satisfied, and the rest of the girls followed towards the fitting rooms, each claiming their own while Dylan sat on the velvet chair in the middle.

Massie shut her door quietly and released a soft sigh as she began to take off her clothes. She scanned the items that she had grabbed, and groaned when she realized that all of them would barely cover her body. Promising herself she wouldn't buy any of the clothes here, Massie grabbed the first dress and pulled it on anyway. She walked out of the fitting room slowly and the eyes of her three best friends all lit up.

Alicia, who was wearing a soft, flowing dress, smiled approvingly. "You look magnificent."

"I look like a hooker," Massie pouted playfully.

Kristen tugged at the pencil skirt she was wearing. "At least it's better than this."

Dylan rolled her eyes. "Massie, you _have_ to buy this. It is so cute and you'll look great when we go clubbing tonight."

"Wait, what?" Massie frowned.

Alicia smacked Dylan in the arm lightly. "You weren't supposed to bring that up until we got her in the right mindset."

Kristen looked scared as she scanned Massie's facials. But Massie didn't feel angry at all, instead, she felt relieved.

"Guys, I don't mind, really. It's so nice of you to be thinking of me all the time. I'd be more than happy to go clubbing with you guys, but _please_ let me wear something I could actually move in."

Kristen, Alicia, and Dylan all came barreling towards Massie, enveloping in a lung crushing hug.

"We love you," Alicia murmured in her ear.

The girls pulled away and returned to their respective rooms.

Massie's smile lit up her whole face as she started unzipping her dress. Today might be a good day after all.

The door to Alicia's fitting room swung open squeakily. "Dylan and I will be at the cashier," she yelled to the still undressing Massie and Kristen. "Meet us at the door when you're... what the _hell _are you doing here?"

The sudden iciness in Alicia's voice shocked Massie to the bone. She quickly flung on her jacket and walked out of her room. Cam was standing there, shopping bags in hand as Claire approached them with new clothes in her hands. She narrowed her eyes at the sight of Massie. Dylan quickly came behind Massie and put a soft hand on her shoulder. Kristen walked out of her dressing room, and instantly froze when she saw the scene in front of her.

"I thought you were all staying home," Claire accused Alicia., her eyes still trained on Massie.

Alicia flipped her hair. "I thought you were going to watch a movie."

"Movies end."

"So do friendships."

Claire laughed coldly. "Funny how things can change so quickly."

Dylan scoffed. "Funny how people can be so different from what you thought they were."

"At least I haven't been the dark cloud looming over everyone's heads this whole entire vacation."

Massie stopped breathing. This was not happening again. She had just talked herself out of her bad mood and into a good one, and all of sudden everything came crumbling down again. "Claire, just leave. No one wants to fight with you."

"So weak," Claire spat as she walked into her fitting room and slammed the door.

Dylan tugged at Massie's elbow. "Let's go."

Massie stared at Cam now. He was fidgeting awkwardly and shuffling his feet, not meeting eyes with Massie. She sucked in a deep breath. "You guys go ahead, I need to talk to Cam."

"We're not leaving you alone with him." Kristen pulled at Massie's other elbow.

"Guys," Massie looked at the three girls softly. "I'll be fine, okay?"

Alicia sighed with annoyance. "Five minutes. That's it. If you go a second over, we will personally come in here and rescue you."

Massie smiled wanly and watched as the girls walked away. Cam looked up at her when they're footsteps faded, his two-toned eyes rimmed with darkness. He looked sad and lost, like a puppy wandering in the rain. Massie wanted to reach out and touch him, but she knew that the only thing that would happen would be the burning of them both.

"Can we go somewhere else?" Massie asked quietly as she tilted her head towards the door.

Cam nodded and Massie lead the way, exiting the store and earning confused looks from Alicia as they passed them at the cashier.

They stopped walking when they reached a bench somewhere down the block. Massie sat down, dropping her purse by her side. Cam sat at the opposite end of the bench, dropping Claire's shopping bags at his feet.

After a long, awkward pause, Cam cleared his throat. "It's going to rain."

"Sure, let's talk about the weather. It's not like there's more important things to discuss."

Cam ran a hand through his golden hair. "Massie, I'm sorry for what happened last night."

"I know."

"I wish I could go back in time and fix it."

"You can't."

"I wish you would just let me explain-

"Cam," Massie looked at him emptily. "I don't want to hear your explanation. What you did really hurt me."

He sighed loudly and wrung his hands uncomfortably. "It was stupid, I know."

Massie pursed her lips. "Then why did you do it? If you knew that I was going to end up being hurt, why did you do it?"

"Because I was selfish and all I could see was the good side to the situation. I was blinded, I guess."

Massie didn't respond for a while, and she let her mind wander. Next to her, she could feel Cam's body heat in the chilly, rainy air, and it didn't affect her at all. She didn't want him anymore. She never really wanted him at all.

"You really love Claire, don't you?"

Cam studied Massie's face slowly. "I do," he admitted sheepishly.

Massie looked down at her hands in her lap. "You two are perfect for each other, you and your lying, cheating ways."

"I deserved that one."

"You deserve a lot more."

"Then why don't you just give me what I deserve and get it over with? Why aren't you yelling or screaming or hitting me like you should be? Isn't that what I _deserve_?"

Every muscle in Massie's body tensed. "That would be too easy, and nothing about this is easy. You deserve Claire, and she deserves you. Whatever happens next is your own problem."

"What _is_ going to happen next?"

The sudden seriousness of the situation suddenly fell on top of Massie. What is really going to happen next? Cam is out of her life for good and Derrick is a complete mystery. But Massie is never going to live a fulfilled life if she doesn't get a taste of both. "I don't know. But that doesn't mean I'll just forget about this and move on."

A crooked smile emerged on Cam's lips. "I know. Nothing could excuse me for what I did, and honestly, the guilt I'm feeling right now is pretty painful. But I just want your forgiveness Massie, and maybe we could be friends again." He ended the sentence with a slight lilt, making it a question rather than a statement.

Massie shook her head sadly. "I don't even know what to think anymore. We won't ever be the same."

"I'm still Cam, Massie."

"Not to me you're not. Not anymore."

"So that's it? We're done for good?" Cam's voice shook with emotion as truth of his words left his mouth and floated into the air around them, circling their heads, taunting them.

But if this is where they were meant to be, this is where they will stay. Massie nodded her head numbly. "This is the end of us." She didn't want to have to say those words, but they were actually a relief to the heavy tugging in her heart. It was as if those words were the block that was preventing her from reaching her freedom, her full potential.

Cam stood up. "I guess this is goodbye then?" He held his hand out.

Massie took his hand gingerly and stood up as well. There was no electricity in their touch, no spark, no emotion. Just nothing. And that was all the reassurance Massie ever needed. Her heart was settled and her mind was satisfied. With a smile, she slung her purse over her shoulder. "Goodbye, Cameron Fisher."

He nodded curtly and walked away without a single glance back.

Massie secretly wished he would have looked back because she really hated losing Cam like this. And although they will have to see each other everyday, their easy-going ways were no more. Now their encounters will be awkward and fake, like talking to strangers.

She closed her eyes just as the first raindrop fell.

Without a second look back, Massie walked away from the mall to the place she knew she could find her answers.

::

The rain was falling steadily and heavily by the time she reached the soccer field. There was a very low chance the person she wanted to see would still be here, but it was worth the walk.

Massie walked into the center of the field, the wet grass soaking through her shoes. She shielded her eyes against the pounding rain as she scanned the wide expanse of grass. The field was empty and gray, just like how the inside of her heart currently felt. A sudden disappointment washed over her body like a wave, unexplainable yet forceful. She turned around to leave, her wet locks hitting her raw cheeks lightly with every step.

"Massie?"

Massie stopped moving. All the blood in her body rushed into her heart, leaving everything numb and frozen except the rapid beating in her chest.

"Massie, what are you doing here?" The voice was behind her now, close and hot against her neck.

A shiver ran down Massie's spine as she turned around slowly. Her eyes looked straight into the golden ones of the boy she had hoped with all her might would be here.

"Derrick," she breathed. "You're still here?"

He looked confused. "I was on my way back, but I left my towel here. How did you find me?"

Massie suddenly felt very exposed. "I just had a feeling you would be here."

"Okay." Derrick smiled crookedly, and Massie almost gasped out loud. She had never seen Derrick's smile before, and it was just as breathtaking as she had imagined it to be. "Let's go back. It's starting to rain pretty hard."

Massie looked around at the bleak grayness. "I kind of like it. Can we sit?"

"Right here?" Derrick asked uncertainly.

"I guess." Massie shrugged.

"Okay." Derrick sat down, and Massie did too.

They're knees where touching, and they're shoulders were an inch apart. Massie looked at Derrick, the same time he turned to look at her, and she stopped breathing.

Suddenly nervous, Massie was the first to look away. "I talked to Cam today."

Derrick searched her eyes. "What happened?"

"It was like a breakup, but we were never together in the first place. I'm kind of glad it's over though; the whole thing is over and I can finally breathe again."

Roughly, Derrick pulled a fistful of grass from the field and threw it out in front of them. "That was your celebratory confetti."

Massie chuckled. "I'm honored."

"Wanna do something?"

Massie threw her hands up in the air. "Anything. Let's do anything!"

Derrick stood up and jogged over the his soccer bag that was thrown carelessly onto the ground. "I still have my soccer ball. Wanna play?"

"Oh god," Massie groaned. "I haven't played in years."

"Then it won't be too hard for me to kick your butt." Derrick pulled the ball from the bag and kicked it towards Massie.

Massie stopped the ball with her foot and narrowed her eyes. "We'll see about that. I have a strong feeling you're not going to be the one doing the ass kicking around here."

"It's on." Derrick ran over to Massie without warning and kicked the ball out from under her foot.

"Hey!" Massie yelled angrily and chased after Derrick. "That wasn't fair! I wasn't ready." She was laughing and running at the same time, and nothing had ever felt this good. The rain was drenching her to the bones, but Massie couldn't care less. She was finally having fun with the person she never thought she would have fun with, and she was going to savor this moment no matter what happened.

Derrick skillfully kicked the ball into the goal. "Point for Derrick! Who ever said we had to play fair?" He ducked under the goal and picked the ball up, walked back to the center of the field.

Massie walked up to Derrick slowly, eyes blazing. He stared at her, dumbfounded, his grip on the ball slackening. She didn't stop until they were only a few centimeters apart and she could feel his chest move with every breath. Rising up on her tiptoes, Massie leaned close to Derricks ear. "You win."

He shivered.

She smiled. He was right where she wanted him to be. Quickly, she snatched the ball from his hands and threw it in front of her, kicking it as hard as she could to the opposite side.

Unable to contain herself, Massie released a triumphant laugh and looked back at Derrick. He looked furious.

"Im going to get you, Block!"

Massie screamed playfully and ran after the ball as quickly as she could. But Derrick was faster than her, and soon enough, he was sprinting in front of her.

Deviously, Massie crumpled to the ground and clutched her ankle. "Ouch! Derrick I think I twisted my ankle."

Derrick was in the process of kicking the ball when he heard Massie's cries. He immediately stopped what he was doing and ran over to Massie. "Oh my god, are you okay? What happened?"

"I don't know. It hurts..."

"Is it broken?"

Massie shook her head.

"Can you stand?"

Massie shook her head again.

Derrick reached out a hand to help Massie up and Massie took it with a large grin. Before Derrick could even pull her up, she pulled him down onto the sloshing grass.

"Got ya," Massie taunted playfully and she jumped up to chase after the ball. But Derrick was too fast and he stuck out a leg, tripping her backwards and causing her to fall directly on top of him.

Suddenly, everything was so close: their bodies, their faces, their mouths. Massie remained wide-eyed as she stared into Derrick's. And before she could say anything, he tilted his head up and pressed his warm lips to hers.

Massie had always dreamed about kissing in the rain, but not like this. She didn't want this, not yet she didn't. Even though this is exactly where her heart wanted her to be, her brain was working furiously, screaming at her that whatever was happening was bad.

Awkwardly, Massie pulled away from Derrick and fumbled to stand up.

He sat up, cheeks flushed.

"What's wrong?"

Massie opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. The only thing she could do was clamp her mouth shut and remain silent because she knew if her mouth remained open, her screams would come out.

She shook her head softly as Derrick looked at her with confusion.

This time, it was Massie Block that walked away.


End file.
